Two ghosts

29th of August 2013

Tastes so sweet, looks so real
Sounds like something that I used to feel
But I can't touch what I see

One day had gone by since Louis broke up with him and he barely managed to keep it together. He had asked Niall not to tell anyone about his breakdown the night Louis ended it and he had kept his promise. He had avoided Louis like the plague and barely said a word to him. Of course, they still had to do interviews because fuck his broken heart.

He managed to sit through an interview the day after the breakup. He didn't remember anything from it. He had no idea what he had said. He had been painfully aware of Louis every second of it though. He didn't know how to act around him anymore. He couldn't hold his hand or snuggle him or kiss him.

They had just finished the interview when it hit him. He would never kiss Louis again or hold his hand or snuggle him. He would never have sex with him again or touch his skin. He would never see him looking at him with that love manifested in his eyes like he was the only person in the world and he would never hear him say I love you ever again. He lost it.

He ran to the nearest toilet and locked himself inside crying his heart out. Niall knocked on the door a couple of minutes later and he opened the door and threw himself in his arms. Niall just hugged him close until he calmed down enough to be able to leave the building. They headed straight to the airport to fly home to England. Thank God they had some time off!

Louis was watching him, looking worried, but he avoided looking at him at all.
"Haz..." Louis finally said with hesitation.

Harry looked up and glared at him angrily before he turned his eyes to the window again. Louis didn't say anything else. Harry sat next to Niall on the plane. Thank God for Niall! Without him, he would have probably already gone insane.

He replayed the break-up over and over again in his head, torturing himself but he couldn't help it. The tears spilled over and Niall pulled him down so he could lay in his lap and stroke his hair comforting without saying a word. He loved him for it.

He registered that the rest of the boys were upset.
"You did what?" Liam screeched and was immediately hushed by Louis. So he told them? Great. Well, it wasn't like they wouldn't notice anyhow.

How was he supposed to continue in the band and be so near Louis all the time without really being near him? He had to quit the band. He thought about their upcoming album and the song he wrote for it, Happily.

I don't care what people say when we're together
You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep
I just want it to be you and I forever
I know you wanna leave
So c'mon baby be with me
So happily

It was the last song he had written. He har felt Louis pulling away and wanted to assure him how much he loved him and that they were in this together. Oh, the irony. Stupid Harry. Another one of the songs on the album came to mind, the one he and Louis wrote together called Perfect. They had giggled the whole time they wrote it at the beginning of the year. It was a playful song, a bit sarcastic. He really fucking hated it now.

The fact that he would have to sing all the songs he wrote to Louis or the ones Louis wrote for him when they continued their tour made him sick to his stomach.

Apparently he fell asleep sometime after that because he woke up from Niall shaking him awake. He had slept for hours. Well, he didn't get any sleep at all last night so that wasn't strange.

They got off the plane and he could hear Louis say that it would be nice to get home. Harry's eyes grew wide. No! Absolutely not! He wasn't going back to their place just the two of them. Niall must have seen his panicked state of mind.
"You can stay at my place if you want."

"Really? That would be great! Thank you." Harry answered relieved.

"Of course, but Haz? You should talk to him. Clear the air, maybe work things out?" Niall suggested.

"Absolutely not." Harry snorted.

Niall sighed but he didn't push it. They waited for their bags to arrive and when Harry had grabbed him and turned around he was face to face with Louis.
"Are you ready to go home, baby?" Louis asked softly. He looked shy and insecure.

"Lou, don't call me baby again. I know you had your reasons to break up and that you're trying to be friends and that you really mean that but it's only been one day. I'm not ready. It's too hard for me to go home with you and be around you so I'm gonna live with Niall for a while. Okay?" Harry said, voice breaking repeatedly.

Louis looked like he had slapped him hard in the face.
"Oh, yeah, of course. Uhm, I'll see you when I'll see you then I guess."

Louis hurried off and Harry stood frozen on the spot. He couldn't start to cry in the middle of a freaking airport. There would be pictures of him in every paper, not to mention Twitter and who knows what? Niall came up next to him.
"Hold it together at least until we're in a taxi. Come on!" Niall mumbled before he put his arm around Harry's waist and pushed him forward.

He made it to the car but broke down crying as soon as he got inside and closed the door behind him. Niall patted his shoulder.
"Shhh...breathe Harry. You're going to be okay."

"Y..y-eah?" Harry managed to get out between sobs.

"Yeah, you know what? Write a song. Get some of that hurt, sorrow, and angst out. You're so good with words. We don't even have to record it. Just write it for yourself." Niall suggested.

"I can try."