Chapter Eleven

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Mika held her katana tightly, her whole body shaking. As she crept closer to the bush, she held her breath. "Mika..? What are you doing?" A voice asked, from behind her. She jumped in surprise and turned abruptly. She let out a breath of relief when she saw it was just Mao Mao. Then she realized she would have to tell him what she was doing and she began sweating.

Mika put her katana down by her side, and rubbed her neck nervously. "Oh!- I was just um.. going on a walk?" She told him, trying to ignore the guilt inside of her from lying to him again. "In the middle of the night? Holding your katana as if your about to fight something?" Mao Mao asked suspiciously, walking closer towards her.

Mika gulped. "Uhmm... yes? You know me, always prepared," She said, laughing anxiously. Mao Mao gave her a disbelieving glare and raised an eyebrow. "You're lying." Mao Mao said plainly, scanning Mika head to toe. "Why?" She looked around nervously, but then she realized there was no way out of this one. Mao Mao was gonna find out that she lied to him, and any friendship or feelings towards her that he had would be shattered. And it would be her fault. Everything was.

Mika sighed and looked at the ground. This is it. This is the last moment he'll like me. She thought. Some part of her told her to keep lying. But the part that cared for Mao Mao more than anyone else alive, overruled. "Mao Mao... there's something I have to admit.." She told him. Mao Mao folded his arms, curiosity sparking in his gaze.

"I-" Mika choked out. "I'm not a traveler," She blurted. "I ran away from home only a few weeks ago, and- and- and I didn't tell you everything and I know you told me everything and I-I never expected to get the- these- these feelings for you and- and I'm so sorry for lying to you about my past, but it's just- it's been so hard..."

Mao Mao was silent. Completely, utterly silent. Mika could tell that so many questions were forming in his mind. "You... lied?" Mao Mao asked in disbelief. He shut his eyes, rubbing his forehead with two fingers. "I-I trusted you!" He said, looking up again, a mixture of anger and hurt in his emerald-green eyes. 

Mao Mao looked down. "I... loved you..." he said softly. Mika was shocked into silence. He... loved me? She thought, wondering if she heard him wrong. "On the first day of our friendship.. you lied to me!" Mao Mao said, his voice louder. Mao Mao turned around, his back to Mika now. "Mao Mao, wait!" Mika begged, stepping forward. "Oh no, I've heard the rest of this story!" He yelled, not looking back. "I... I think maybe you should leave." Mao Mao said, slamming the door behind him.

Mika stood still. She wanted to chase after him and tell him she loved him too. But her legs wouldn't move. She could barely breathe. The ground below her seemed to cave in, causing her to fall down, down, down... into the pit of loneliness forever. And the moment she hit the ground... her heart snapped. She felt weak, her body shaking so much, she could barely stand. Mika felt the tears coming. And she let them. Tears dripped from her eyes, as she fell forwards on her knees. 

As the tears came, she felt like her heart was breaking. Breaking into a thousand pieces that could never be mended. She couldn't find the strength to cry. She could find the strength to stand. She couldn't find the strength to move. She desperately wanted to feel Mao Mao's strong arms wrap around her. She wanted him to tell her everything was okay. But most of all, she wanted him to love her again. She wanted that more than anything else in the world. 

But the probability of that happening seemed low. Too low. Maybe she should leave. Maybe Mao Mao would be happier with her gone.

She had once again ruined another relationship with someone else. Someone who was very, very special to her. And like always, she was the one to blame.

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