The Time We Have Left ✓

Part 2

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It was quiet when I and Jungkook were cuddled in bed. He stroked my hair as I listened to his heartbeat carefully.

His heartbeat has always been the most beautiful melody for me, it calmed me down without doing anything. But today it didn't work, it didn't calm me down, it just increased the heavy feeling in my heart.

I was afraid of not being able to hear or feel it anymore. I was afraid that my own could stop hitting at any time without saying the words I would like to say to him.

„ Y/N, Y/N did you hear that, " Jungkook asks with joy, although he knew the answer exactly.

I was lying on the patient's bed in the hospital, when devices were connected to my stomach and we were lucky enough to hear our daughters heartbeat for the first time. Her heartbeat resounded throughout the room and the feeling was indescribably beautiful.

Tump.    Tump.    Tump.    Tump.

The smile on my face got bigger and bigger the longer I listened to it and when I look up at my husband I see the tears in his eyes. It's an overwhelming feeling for both of us and I can imagine how much that means to him.

Our eyes meet when he looks down at me, a smile adorns his face as a tear rolled down his cheek. Without saying anything, he narrowed the space between us and gave me a slow and loving kiss.

„ Thank you baby ... thank you for making this possible for me. "

Thank you , something so simple to say, right ?!  Just two syllables that leave your mouth and yet how often do we say that to the people we are really grateful too. How often we remind our loved ones that we are grateful to have them and make them happy with it. Exactly, too seldom, we take it for granted, think we have enough time to say it at some point, don't even see how the time is ticking.

And I, how often have I told Jungkook how grateful I am for having him, how often have I reminded him how much he means to me. When I think about it like that, I have told him too seldom, even if he deserves to hear and feel it more often.

And now, I feel guilty for everything.

Guilty, that I'm not strong enough. Guilty, that my fear is much bigger than my will to tell him. And guilty for being too selfish.

But could you really blame me for that, it wasn't easy to share something like that with your loved ones. It was not easy to look them in the eyes when you feel guilty every time for something you couldn't change.

He is always been the perfect husband and father. He is always careful, gentle, hardworking and he would do anything to keep his family happy. He also showed me several times in our relationship that I can talk with him about everything, but I'm still afraid of his reaction. I know how much I mean to him and how much the news will get him. Jungkook won't recover quickly and that scared me.