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Astra's POV

well i made it two days. with help from my brother, i haven't left my room in two days. but today's the 4th of july.

not that i WANT to celebrate such an awful holiday, i'm being forced. so i post on my instagram "reminders this 4th of july" explaining why america isn't free for everyone, and get dressed.

charli and i have been talking the past few days, but not facetiming. after everything with angelica, i've been pretty out of it. i didn't tell charli what went on, just that angelica and i fought. i don't want to burden her anymore.

i decide to text the groupchat just so that everyone else knows i'm alive.

the stars of tiktok
( from astra's phone )
( and charli's name for her )

that schuyler sister has been removed

sirius🌌
hey guys. don't party and stay safe

papi vani🥵
you haven't talked to us in like three days and this is what you say first?

sirius🌌
i'm sorry. i've been having a rough few days

marilyn monroe🤍
why'd you take angelica out?

sirius🌌
we got into a fight. it's not that big of a deal.

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that was a lie. but i don't feel like explaining. and it seems like they're all angry at me for ghosting for a few days. great.

i slowly make my way into the depths of hell.

just kidding, i'm going downstairs to see my mom for the first time since i came out.

she ignores me for a little while. i eat some breakfast.

and then she says "are you dating that girl?"

i have a feeling she's talking about charli.

"which girl?" i say, trying not to sound suspicious.

"charli. i saw it on tiktokroom. i had to do some research after you said you went viral on tiktok," my mom says, her tone unreadable.

"um, no. we're not dating," i say.

"good," she says.

yikes. we fall back into another awkward silence. my dad walks into the kitchen.

"hey baby!" he says to me and kisses my head. "are you almost ready?"

my mom looks up at him. "she's not coming."

i look at her and inside my heart is breaking.

"wha—what do you mean?" i ask, my voice breaking.

"i don't want to be seen with you. the 8 other people that will be there have kids on tiktok. they know who you are. i don't want to be seen with such a disappointment," she says, low but very angry. "and charli is the biggest tiktok star. you don't deserve her anyway."

a tear falls. "mom," i start.

"no. don't call me that," she says and walks right out of the house.

"dad," i say, fully crying now. he pulls me into a hug.

"i'm sorry. i'm trying to get her to see that nothing has changed. i'm trying," he says stroking my hair.

"ok," i say, because i'm not sure what else there is to say.

i make my way back upstairs, and the rest of my family leaves.

it's fine. i didn't want to go to a party, even a really small one, right now.

i analyze everything my mom said.

i'm a disappointment. i don't deserve charli. i'm disowned.

i start sobbing.

maybe she's right. i don't deserve charli.

that's what angelica was trying to tell me in her own messed up way. charli deserves better.

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sirius🌌i'm sorry we can't talk anymorei'm sorry i wasted your timeyou're an amazing persongoodbye char

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sirius🌌
i'm sorry
we can't talk anymore
i'm sorry i wasted your time
you're an amazing person
goodbye char

charlie dunkin🥺
what do you mean?
what are you talking about?
you can't do this
please

i love you
MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED

you blocked me?
MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED

why. what did i do?
MESSAGE NOT DELIVERED

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it's all my fault. i have no one now.

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e.j.'s notes:
cool. i'm just breaking my own heart rn.
the next few chapters are just...
get ready

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