Sweater Weather <3 ➜ Charli D'amelio

012

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Charli's POV

"thanks for letting me come over this early," i say to chase as we make our way to the living room.

"of course," he says. "so...you wanna talk about astra?"

i really did, but i couldn't with him. he doesn't know i liked her as more than a friend.

i shake my head. "no. i don't want to talk about that whole thing. distract me from it."

"ok. um...did you get your dunkin today?" he asks.

i laugh. "no not yet."

"i'll order it right now. your usual?"

"yeah. thank you," i say.

"no problem," he says. he finishes ordering through the app and then says, "i think you're a pretty awesome person, you know that. you don't deserve everything that happened yesterday. you don't deserve to be treated that way, like you're a way to buy followers. that is absolutely ridiculous."

i give him a soft smile and look directly in his eyes. "thank you so much."

and before i knew what was happening he leaned down and kissed me.

it only lasted like three seconds before i pulled away. i needed to tell him i didn't like him like that, and that we're just friends.

but then.

i turn a little bit and see the most beautiful girl in the world, the girl i've been talking to for a month, the girl i've totally fallen in love with. and the expression on her face says she saw the kiss.

the three of us are in an extremely awkward, tense silence for a few more seconds before she turns and runs out the door.

my jaw was on the floor. how is she here? why do i care? i should hate her. i should be so mad at her. but seeing her there...

"i'm sorry," i say to chase, and stand up. "i have to leave."

he stops me. "i saw the way you looked at her. you like her, don't you? that's why you pulled away."

i look down, basically giving it away.

"oh," he says. "bye then."

i walk out of the house and astra is no where to be found. it's a bit of a long walk from the hype house to my house, but i need to clear my head so i'll walk for a little bit.

as i'm walking i realize she's probably at my house. she didn't have anything with her when i saw her. that means her stuff has to be somewhere.

i'm going to have to talk to her face to face.

i definitely thought this moment would go different.

of course, i thought we might even be dating at this point. if she didn't all of a sudden block me. or use me for followers and likes.

but then why would she come all the way out here?

there's definitely a part of the story i'm missing.

so i call an uber, and get home in a few minutes. and now i'm scared to walk into my own house. i ring the doorbell, which dixie answers. good, i'm hoping to ask her a few questions before i see astra.

"look, i don't know what went on at the hype house, but astra's pretty upset," dixie says, in a whisper.

"she's upset? i'm upset! she used me!" i whisper yell, but from the look on dixie's face i know that that's not true.

"she's in the guest bedroom. she came all the way out here to tell you what really happened. she really cares about you char," dixie says and then hugs me.

i make my way upstairs and then knock on the door.

"come in," astra says. i open the door and see a heartbroken girl. the pain is written all over her face.

and that breaks me.

"please tell me what really happened," i say, already starting to tear up.

and through her own tears, she tells me the full story.

"i'm so sorry angelica did this to you. i can't believe she'd threaten to do that to you, to me, to us. and i can't believe she did what she did. the internet hates you right now for no reason!" i say, getting angry.

"i know. but i couldn't tell my side of the story, and i couldn't get her to take it back," astra says, twiddling her thumbs.

i sigh. "this is crazy."

"yeah."

"well, thank you for telling me. i'm sorry that i was so hard to reach," i say, and we both laugh.

"what about chase?" she says.

"there's nothing to say. i don't like him. he knows that."

then we sit for a few minutes in silence.

i can't even explain why i said what i said next. all i did was hurt myself again. maybe because i'm even more scared of what people would say. maybe because i'm afraid of losing her again. maybe because i'm afraid she doesn't feel the same way i feel.

"we can only be friends."

she looks up at me. that original pain there again. and then she looks back down at her thumbs.

i get up off her bed, and walk out. and on the way to my room i start crying.

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e.j.'s notes:
hahaha of course i wasn't gonna make this easy
anywho, liam payne without the l