In her Mind

Chapter 1

You look at her. Her beautiful smile, her long blond hair, her dark clothes that fit just right, all of her band bracelets. You see her get shoved into a wall, you see her eyes water, you see her squeeze her stomach, and walk quickly down the hall. You hear the laughs of the people who pushed her. They are calling her "emo", "suicidal freak", "cutter". You wonder if what their saying is true. Does she cut? Is she suicidal? You want to ask but, you don't want to hurt her.

Katylnn Jones walked into math. She quietly sat down and pulled out her math notebook. She started writing down quotes. "I kissed the scars on her skin...." She was interrupted by a boy with jet black hair. She looked up, she saw his cute smile, his cheerful blue eyes. He smiled at her, she smiled back then quickly looked away. "Hey, can I sit by you?" he asked. "Sure, I mean yeah, I mean yes. Oh God, I'm sorry" Katylnn said. He smiled one of his bashful smiles. "I'm Brendan" "Yeah, I know. I mean we have a couple classes together." She said. "Oh, yeah.....right. Well, what are you doing?" He asked. Katylnn flipped her notebook over to hide her quotes and drawing but, realized they are on the back too. She sighed. "Just waiting for math to start" "Me too! " She grinned. Brendan blushed and said "I saw those girls being mean. Are they always like that?" Katylnn replied "Everyday, 24/7." "Oh, well...." Brendan started, then he got interrupted by Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown goes on about exponents. Brendan drowned everything he said out and just stared at Katylnn. How her hair falls perfectly, how she bites her soft lips, how there is a secret behind her brown eyes. He feels sorry for the dark circles under her eyes. She didn't get very much sleep, he thought. He saw her rub her left wrist and her bracelets go up just enough for him to see her scars. She saw him looking at her wrist and quickly said "My cat scratched me when I tried to pick her up." Katylnn looked back down. '' Mr. Brendan, what did I just say?" Mr. Brown said. "Uh..." said Brendan. Katylnn quietly said " The base number is the number that is being multiplied." Brendan repeated what Katylnn just said. "Good" said Mr. Brown. Brendan said "thanks." Katylnn smiled, "welcome." At the end of class, Katylnn gathered her books and started to walk out. Brendan rushed to catch up to her. "God, you walk fast." he said. "I don't want to get stuck passing by certain people." said Katylnn. He walked her to her locker. She put in her combination. 39-45-23. He saw the millions of quotes hung up in her locker. "Maybe making me bleed will be the answer that could wash the slate clean." "I would kill just to feel less invisible." "She is addicted to the song lyrics that spill her heart out for her." "If I were you I'd put that away, see you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again. Darlin' you'll be okay." and many more. She saw him looking at the quotes and gave a quiet, half-hearted laugh. She took out her IPod from her locker and put in her ear buds. "What song?" asked Brendan. Katylnn replied "'Her Last Words' by Courtney Parker." Brendan wondered what it was about. 'Maybe she is depressed' he thought. He didn't care. He liked her for her and if she was depressed then oh well. Katylnn went into the bathroom while Brendan stayed at her locker. She slid down the wall and looked at the two small, round pills in her hand. She tilted her head back and they slid down her throat. She swallowed. 'What if he doesn't like me for me? What if he doesn't want to date a girl who needs pills for depression and anxiety? Will he still like me? Does he like me?' she wondered. Katylnn gathered all her courage, put on a smile and walked out. "Hey, um. Maybe, do you want to, maybe, I mean if you want to, maybe, go to the football game tonight with me? It doesn't have to be a date. Unless, you want it to be. I understand if you don't want to go. Um.... yeah. So yeah." Brendan asked as he scratched his head. "Of course. It could be a date, if you want it to be", she blushed, "I would have to ask my mom but, yeah. Sounds fun!" "Sweet! I mean cool, I mean okay." he said. Katylnn laughed. They headed off to English.