Omake: Sin Archbishop of Greed

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Spoiler for Arc 5 of Re Zero

Clarify: this is not canon but instead a what if

Y/N: 'crap crap crap crap CRAP! What do I do? Clearly my power is no use against her, even though she can't harm me but just teleport me to places...damn it...No choice'

Y/N turns to face the child-god readying to dash away at a moment's notice even if it doesn't work....That is until he looked around and saw the area already filled with Witch Cultists

New voice: oh new world, so much new things to eat! Oh I can't wait to eat in this new world, new tastes, new smell, new...food. I want to eat, I want to devour, I want to chew, I want to feed, I want to consume it all!

Pandora: now now Ley, you can eat later, let's just focus on what we came for...

Y/N then tense up even more, fear palpable on his face

Y/N: so you want your authority back?

Pandora finally turned to me

Pandora: oh yes, and we're also taking you with us. You have the authority of greed and unfortunately we just lost Regulus.

Y/N: 'Regulus? The past Sin Archbishop? Is this after Arc 5?'

Pandora: and frankly? Good riddance to him, he's an idiot. But you, if you weren't so intelligent that you could be a problem, I probably would either ignored you or killed you to get the Authority

Y/N: 'damn my intelligence! I need to stall for time...Think Y/N THINK! What do I do? I can't escape, her powers limit that. Fly? Not gonna work...damn with the Gluttony archbishop....Wait... Why is Gluttony here? His power is-'

Y/N suddenly had a dawn of understanding

Y/N: "no...You won't erase my memory and become your puppet!"

Pandora then looked at me dismissively

Pandora: oh you poor poor soul...Like you even had a choice. But I'll humor you and tell you what we'll do if you don't do as I say: we'll turn this world into a breeding ground for our cult after we destroy order, faith, and even that ridiculous demon king.

Y/N:... 'even if I did as they say they won't continue with their promise...damn my luck! I need to-'

"GOD BLAST!"

Y/N looked relieved at Aqua's appearance and dashed away just as skill hits Pandora

Pandora however...looked...Bored?

Pandora with a wave of her hand: oh away with you, you useless and pathetic excuse of a Goddess

Y/N: 'And Aqua just... Disappeared...Disappeared!...holy shet...'

Y/N now looked at the Chaos Bringer with a new degree of fear.

Y/N: 'nope nope nope... I'm out of here not gonna deal with that! This is supposed to be FUN! How the hell do I deal with someone with powers that can make the Gods just disappear?!?!?!?!?!?!? Yea ain't dealing with this...Maybe the demon king would deal with her...Perhaps I'll instigate a war between Demon King and Witch Cult? That could work. I'll maybe stall enough time for the main cast of Re:Zero to finish up with Arc 6 and maybe even discover Pandora's weakness... And after the war if demon king won, they'll be weaken whereas if Witch Cult won, they'll have less in Re:Zero world! Ha this plan is perfect!'

1 year later

Y/N POV

I began to write into my journal to record what happened in the past year:

The plan failed. It could not have failed any more spectacularly. God damn I swear it's like Aqua is cursing me...Wait that's totally happening isn't it? Damn it all to hell... After Pandora killed the Demon King and thus recognised as the new demon queen...And converted all the Demon legions, generals into mindless Witch Cultist...They literally curb stomped all the nations in this world...And what's worse they somehow leaked that I was the reason for this since I was "Sin Archbishop of Greed"...damn her now even the survivors hate me... Kazuma in particular get traumatized when they were hiding out in this village of the crimson demon appearantly before they were wiped from existence or became slave to the Archbishop of Wrath...Now he hates my guts and tries to kill me all the time...Since and I quote "I was actually having a lot of luck with this 'Megumin' loli" and apparently I got rid of that...Well I guess that's a childish NEET for you...

Tears began to fell from my cheek.

God damn it...They really turned this world into their base and breeding ground...fuck I'm breaking down now...What did I do wrong? Would going with them really save these millions of souls from a fate worse than death? Now even if I try to help everyone I meet just either wants me to go away or tries to kill me...I haven't talked to anyone in close to 4 months...I don't know how long I can last...God I'm hearing voices in my head...Is this Pandora's doing or another Archbishop? Damn it! I think the cultist found me again!

I then began to look around before a voice drew my attention

???: Oh what do we have here? Another bearer of love greater than mine? That cannot be! My love for her love is the greatest! It cannot be surpassed! My pride won't allow it! As the Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult Representing Pride! Darkness!

Sin Archbishop of Pride... A girl with blond hair, well endowed body, and... A masochist. the first and only Archbishop not including me to come from this world. I think she used to be a noble before turning into a Archbishop... If I remember correctly her Authority allows whatever harm she does to her self be transferred and amplified to her opponent...Add to the fact that she has near mother Fucking DEADPOOL level of healing and you got yourself a rival for the strongest Archbishop. Damn it why is she here?!?! How did she find me?!??!

As I was about to dash though the Forrest before another voice drew my attention-

Pandora: ah ah no running anymore.

Fuck!

How can this day get any worse?

After killing all the cultist and failing to kill the Witch and the Archbishop. I then suddenly realized something very particular that I wasn't able to due to my tunnel vision: Pride isn't harming herself. Why isn't she harming herself? Why isn't she trying to kill me? How...Wait...Oh no... I then rub my eye and saw before me...A massacre...And my hand holding the dead body of Kazuma...And all the remaining of the resistance to the Witch Cult...Dear god..

"I...I...I killed them..." I managed to speak out before feeling very sick in my stomach

"I...I killed the last resistance..."

I just killed this world's last normal people...I just destroyed any chance this world has to recleaning...This world now truly fell because of me...

I then started to walk, not realizing that a platinum haired witch is looking at me from afar...Not that I care anymore...

I then took a sword from a fallen resistance member....Turned off my ability...And...

"Huuuurrrrraaaaaaaaahhhh!"

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