Back In time

Thirty-Three

Before I knew it, I was awoken to the voice of Julie and the sound of curtains being drawn apart. I reached for the other side of the bed, only to find cold and empty sheets.

Agnes must have left beforehand.

"Today is the day of Sir Nicholas' wedding, Abbey." As I subconsciously heard those words, I began to rouse from my sleep, dreading the thought of having to go through the marriage procession.

Why must I torture myself?

No. I have made up my mind that today is the day I shall let him go. Today is the day where I will bury those feelings deep in my heart; to finally set myself free. Reluctantly, I pulled myself up and allowed Julie to prepare me for the hour. Instead of an extravagant dress, I donned a simple blue dress and wore my hair down. After two hours, I was ready to go.

"It is about time, Abbey. Sir Fredricks is waiting by the lobby, shall we go to him?" I nodded before following her to where he was. I had no idea that Fredricks was going to escort me to the wedding, but I guess having him by my side would help make things bearable for me. Nonetheless, I felt guilty that I was unable to return his feelings. If only I had first fallen in love with him...

"You look beautiful," He placed a kiss on the back of my hand before leading my hand under his arm, crossing it. "Whatever happens, I will be right by your side."

"Thank you." I returned his kind gesture with a small smile before we rode off towards the destination.

*

"Fredricks! It is always a pleasure to be meeting you," a partially bald but tall gentleman approached Fredricks and I as soon as we got off the carriage. "Come with me, there are some people that I like you to meet."

"No thank you, I-"

"Go on," I interjected, knowing that Fredricks' too, has his own circle of friends to attend to. It would be extremely selfish of me to keep him all to myself.

"Will you be alright on your own?"

"Of course, I am not a child you know?" I teased, though I was sure that I would be lonely given how unfamiliar I was with everyone.

"Okay, I will be back soon."

As I saw him walk away with that tall gentleman, I decided to explore the site, in search of Agnes. Apart from the decoration of flowers, the set up seemed rather simple and quaint; yet it looked like a fairytale dream come true.

I continued the search for Agnes and rummaged through the sea of people, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Unknowingly, I found myself in the middle of the wedding aisle, only to find myself immediately drawn to a particular gentleman who was dressed in white, looking just as handsome as the first time when I saw him during that fateful encounter in the market.

It has always baffled me as to what drew people to him. Even on his wedding day, girls were still flocking around him like bees to a honeycomb. Our eyes were now locked on each other, but neither of us made a move. I could feel my heart scrunch by an unknown pressure and my breath stolen away.

Remember, today is the day that I let him go.

I politely curtsied towards his direction in hopes that he would get the memo. I took one last look at him before turning away.

"Abbey, wait!" I didn't need to turn around to know who tugged on my arm. "Abbey I-"

"Congratulations, Nicholas!" I quickly turned round to cut him from his speech, afraid that the words he was about to say would break down the walls of courage that I had painstakingly built through endless nights of misery. "I am so happy for you! She seems like a great catch! Take good care of her, alright?"

"Listen to me-"

I could feel my eyes water and lips tremble, but I wasn't going to give up, not after how far I have come.

"Goodness me, look how rude am I, turning up without a gift. I hope that you will overlook it," I felt disgusted with myself, just how low have I sunk, "if you'd like, I could have one sent tomorrow."

"Listen to me!-"

"Ahem! Sir, the wedding will be commencing in a minute." Only this time, it was a butler who interrupted.

"Go ahead, Nicholas! You wouldn't want to keep your bride waiting, do you?" I pushed his hand away from me before turning and whispering in the faintest voice that only he could hear, "Goodbye."

Farewell Nicholas. This shall be the last time I see you.

Trudging past the incoming crowd, I took a seat to the farthest end of the aisle, a location which I was certain that no one would notice if I were gone. True enough, a minute after I settled down, all eyes settled on the bride as she began walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown, brightly shining, with a gaze that held so much love for her soon-to-be husband. But, I didn't dare take a look at Nicholas. I wasn't ready to see that expression of love he held for Amelia.

Despite what you did, Nicholas, know that I have never regretted any moment spent with you. Though, you are my dream that I couldn't reach, know that you shall always have a special place in my heart.

As Amelia drew nearer and nearer to Nicholas, I could feel my defenses tear off layer by layer and the ache grow stronger with every step she took.

I thought I was strong enough.

Before I knew it, I took off running in the opposite direction, away from the crowd; only to find myself stranded in a deserted playground. Plopping down on a swing, I held my gaze down, toward the sand that littered the ground. Not long after, cheers and congratulatory messages could be heard from a distance.

"Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Clayton." I whimpered, biting on my lip to prevent a cry from escaping as I remembered the promised I made to myself. I tilted my head toward the sky and began fanning my eyes in an attempt to dry the build-up tears that threatened to fall, wanting nothing more but for my pain to be taken away.