Alex Weasley: Book 3

23

Days passed in a blur, with Alex and Hermione exploring more of Helga's hall and reading Slytherin's journals.
"Wonder why he kept these here, and not in his own chamber." Alex remarked.

"Well, he obviously spent a lot of time here. Harry says the chamber was all gloomy and nasty, anyway. He probably felt more at home here."

"Huh." She turned back to the journal and listened as Hermione read through his words. As much as she tried to keep her attention on Hermione's voice, she couldn't help but let her thoughts stray to more pressing concerns. Her patronus, for example. Trying to accept that perhaps the wolf didn't always signify evil was a tough challenge in itself. She jumped as Hermione jolted her rather harshly.

"You're not listening." The Gryffindor accused.

"Yes, I am."

"No you're not."

"No, I'm not." Alex agreed. "Sorry."

Hermione closed the journal and shifted to look at her friend. "What is it?"

"I've been having trouble with my patronus. Snape's trying to help me."

"Doesn't it get weird calling him Snape all the time?"

"It's a lot easier than calling him Severus." Alex shuddered. "That one feels super weird. And I'm not always gonna call him Professor. So just Snape."

"But technically, you're a Snape?" It was more questioning than a statement.

"Well I'm hardly gonna call him uncle all the time. Plus Snape just suits him."

"You've got a point. Okay, continue. Problems with your patronus? How? I thought you could occlude?"

"I can. And it's easy to shove all the bad stuff into a box and conjure a good memory. And it works. But when my patronus comes out, it disappears too quickly to do anything."

"Why?"

"Snape says it's because I'm conflicted over my patronus's form." Hermione raised her brows and Alex continued talking. "Because it's a wolf. And wolf equals evil. And I thought it was going to change because the beast was gone. But my patronus is still a wolf."

"That's all?"

"What do you mean?" Hermione sighed and reached out to set her hand on Alex's shoulder.

"Okay, remember that I love you and I don't mean to hurt you, and that I'm only telling you this because I really don't think you or Snape are going to figure it out any time soon but you need to know." She said, taking in a deep breath. "When we woke up from the basilisk last year, you said you felt off. A little sick. But also that something was missing. And then we found out it was because your, um..." she looked uncomfortable.

"Because the beast was gone."

"But it was part of you for two and a half years."

"You're way off mark if you're saying what I think you're saying."

"You're more conflicted over missing the part of yourself that you lost, because you've been telling yourself it was evil. But no part of you has ever been evil. The... beast, as you call it, was used too. You needed to be bonded to something, for werewolves it's a full moon. Voldemort took advantage. He used the part of you that needed help and turned it into a weapon. Somewhere deep down, you know that too." Alex simply stood up, pulled on her outer robes, and left. Hermione looked conflicted but didn't follow.

"Not that I don't enjoy these races, but is there a particular reason we're out here today?" Cedric questioned after Alex practically dragged him out to the quidditch pitch.