Infinite Miles

Chapter 30 - A Place For Him

This month passed quicker than the last.

Every day had its purpose. Every day was the same. Training until the aches in their limbs took just as long as any ordinary human to heal. Training from the first ray of sun that touched their cold pale skin, to the darkest depths of the night, where if it weren't for their improved sight, they would hardly be able to see.

The clan were scheduled, and disciplined, and for once, polite. Since the insightful meeting with Fraser, Axel hasn't heard a single insult aimed his way. But just because he doesn't hear any, doesn't mean that there are any less.

Maybe they're just insulting me in private. Or better yet, in their heads.

He doesn't dwell on it.

He doesn't have time to dwell on it. Not when the month is almost up. And the war so near he can almost hear the bloodcurdling screams on the battlefield.

Everyone's been working much harder than before, with a new, burning determination. The fear and unease they felt at the meeting lit a flame in each of them, and Axel could see how it transferred from one person to the next, like neighbouring trees in a forest fire.

Axel stares at the group in front of him, all 106 members of Fraser's clan, with Fraser herself standing adjacent to him. A clan made up of rogues and outcasts, runaways and rejects. A place someone like him could have easily called home. But this isn't the place for him, Axel knew that the second he stepped foot in the new territory. He's starting to wonder whether there's a place for him at all. And frankly, isn't too upset if the answer is no. There isn't a building, or a house, or a mansion, or a camp (although he does consider the Stupidly Tall Building for a while. That felt like his place. But now, when his mind wonders back to the abandoned building, all he can think of is running away and hiding, and he's firmly over that). But there's a person. There's Miles. And if there's one place Axel definitely knows he belongs, it's by Miles' side.

And he would go through war if it meant protecting it. Protecting Miles. So he understands all too well why Fraser and her clan are prepared to fight for what's theirs.

They look like warriors, all of them lined up side by side like that in the large clearing, with the skill set to match, and Axel can't help but think: They could have been unstoppable.

Could have.

If only they had more fucking time. They were vampires for heaven's sake. They had all the fucking time in the world. And yet the clock which they thought would keep ticking forever, keeps ticking down. Whether it's for one of them - like a missile with a single target - or all of them - like a nuclear bomb ready to go off the instant the timer hits zero - he doesn't know.

They have so much potential. Axel thinks. He also thinks that with a few extra weeks of training, they could have won this war without a doubt.

But doubts are the only thing he has right now. Swimming around in his skull. And going into war with a head full of doubts is the last thing someone like Axel should be doing. Especially when everyone is looking to him to be the example - and dare he say leader - but he doesn't have it in him to voice his worries. To tell them that not everyone is going to make it.

But that's the price of war, isn't it? Because in war, life is reduced to currency. Spent and wasted. And ultimately, just as it is in the real world, whoever has the most wins.

It should be obvious. It's unavoidable. Axel, who isn't much of a believer despite the things he's been through, can put all his faith in that simple fact. People will die. And yet only eyes full of optimism and confidence stare back at him.

It's almost as if they're all little kids who believe in some out-of-world fantasy. And that if they try hard enough, if they believe, that dream just might come true. Then it's up to the adult to snuff it out. To bring them back to reality and out of their delusions. Axel was 5 years old when he was told by his Father (a man of science, of the real world) that Santa and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. Sometimes he wishes he could have stayed in blissful ignorance for longer. Perhaps then his childhood wouldn't have felt so short.

And so Axel thinks back to all the leaders he's come across. To Lawson, and her ferocious determination. To Fraser, her warmth as well as her fierce coldness. To Elias, his discipline, strength and overwhelming presence. To his Mother, her gentleness and her selflessness. To his Father, and his unwavering dedication. To Sydney and Miles, their loyalty and their love, and thinks that if he can take just a little piece of each of them, he can finally be who the clan need him to be. And say what they desperately need him to say.

"We're ready."

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A/N

This may very well be the penultimate chapter. I've realised that this story has become very Axel-centric. But hey at least I mentioned Miles😄