Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Fanfic (Updated)

Billy The Kid (Updated)

New Mexico, 1879
The phone booth arrives in the wild west, cowboys walking along the desert town, the smell of cigars and smoke lingering in the heated air, and tumbleweed rolling along with the wind. "How's it going, old-west dude?" asked Ted, earning a light smack to the shoulder by Tori. The trio looked around the western town in awe, the tall brunette even thought the place reminded him of Frontierland in Disney World. The only difference between the two is that you would most definitely get shot by a real bounty hunter. Not to mention the smell of horse crap and dysentery. So, it was advised by the trio to act naturally around these parts and not cause any trouble. "Hey, guys, I'm totally thirty" said Ted
"Me too" said Bill
"Let's see if we can find a saloon" said Tori, "Maybe they'll give us a cold refreshing drink"

The trio made their way to the nearest saloon, ordering three bottles of beer once they made it to the bartender. Surprisingly, the bartender didn't question the three teens as he gladly handed them three bottles of cold beer. "Woah, he didn't even card us, guys" said Ted
"Yeah, we'll have to remember this place," said Bill, admiring the saloon before taking a seat at the bar with Ted and Tori. The trio cheers their bottles of beer as they look around for someone to bring back with them. So far, none of them seem worthy of a history report until a stranger walks in. The sound of a gunshot was fired, causing the saloon to go silent. Tori jumped in shock, holding onto Bill's arm to steady herself. The two glanced at one another before awkwardly pulling away, hiding their blushing faces from one another.

he stranger that arrived in the saloon was tall with blonde hair, a tan colored trench coat, red bandana around his neck, and a dark cowboy hat. "Who's he?" asked Bill
"He's Billy the Kid" the bartender answered
"THE Billy the Kid?" asked Tori, "The notorious gunfighter in all the wild west?"
"That's the one"
Tori glanced at Bill and Ted, whispering, "He's famous, guys"
Bill and Ted's eyes glanced over at the outlaw, their first historical figure to take.
"Let's bag him" Bill whispered, which made Tori a bit worried about what her friends would do to charm the man.

Billy the Kid scanned the quiet saloon, his eyes like snakes hunting for its next target. "I need two men" he said, "Who's with me?"
The men in the saloon turned away, trying their best not to look the outlaw in the eye. Bill and Ted did get the memo, smiling at Billy the Kid without an ounce of fear. "We're with you, Billy the Kid!" said Ted
"Dude!" Tori hissed, trying to tell her two best friends not to get involved with the outlaw's idea. Of course, neither of them listened as Billy the Kid marched over to the two male teens, grabbing them by the collar.
"Here's the deal" said Billy the Kid, "What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep"
Bill and Ted glanced at one another before saying, "Sounds good, Mr. The Kid"
Billy the Kid raised a brow, possibly regretting his choice in men. He then glanced at Tori, his eyes filled with confusion in wonder. The teenage girl nods in response. "Yeah, they're always like that" she said, "Just be glad you got two men"

Thankfully, the situation wasn't a brawl or a gunfight, but rather a game of poker. Bill and Ted were participating with Billy the Kid and three other men. The short blonde male was smoking a cigar while pulling off his best poker face. The tall brunette was smiling like a goofball as he looked down at his cards. All the while the short brunette was sitting next to Ted, watching the game over his shoulder. Tori glanced over at Bill, finding his poker face strangely attractive in more ways than one. It wasn't until she felt the eyes of the cowboys watching her legs since she was only wearing shorts. One of them attempts to reach for her legs until Tori smacks his hand away, sending him a dirty glare in warning. The cowboy cleared his throat and focused on the poker game, keeping his eye on the cards in his filthy hands.

Bill glanced over at Ted, noticing the smile on his friend's face. "Dude, you've got to have a poker face like me" he said, which made the tall brunette fix his facial expression to a serious one. Unfortunately it didn't last long, Bill happened to notice the three aces in his hand and couldn't help but show it off to his two friends. "What the hell's going on here, Billy?" asked one of the cowboys in suspicion. The trio glanced from Billy the Kid to the rest of the cowboys, realizing they screwed up the outlaw's chances of winning.
"Are you cheatin' us, Kid?" asked the second cowboy
Billy the Kid attempts to act innocent, "Cheating?" he bluffed, "Me?"

Without warning, the outlaw started an all out brawl within the saloon. Every cowboy present started fighting each other like ones you would see in old western movies. Even some of the painted ladies were in on the action, throwing themselves on men and flying out windows. "Excellent!" said Bill and Ted with excitement
"No, it's not!" yelled Tori, clearly terrified of the whole situation.
Suddenly, the trio were cornered by the three cowboys, slowly making their way towards them with anger in their eyes.
"Look, we're totally weak" said Bill, trying to convince the men not to fight them, "We can't possibly fight you"
"Bill's absolutely right," said Tori, "And let's be honest, you wouldn't hit a lady, would you?"
"However," said Ted, "How would you gentlemen like free passes to Waterloo, home of excellent waterslides?"

It was obvious neither one of the cowboys were in on the trio's attempts to avoid a fight. While Bill was thrown across the bar towards a wall, Tori grabs a nearby beer bottle and hits a cowboy on the head. The bottle shatters over the cowboy's head, but the man himself growls in anger as the liquid drips down his hat and face. "Guess that only works in the movies" said Tori
"Bogus" said Ted until he was thrown across the bar to join Bill.
Tori was about to throw the broken bottle of beer at the cowboys until Billy the Kid steps in to sweep her off her feet to avoid any more trouble. Once they are in the clear, Billy and Tori make their way to Bill and Ted, pulling them away from the wall. Ted stuck his head in the hole once again to stare at the painted ladies on the other side, only to be pulled back by Tori.

When the four were cornered by the three cowboys, the trio decided to use the oldest trick in the book. "Look" said Bill, looking above the cowboys
"It's Madonna!" said Tori
"On a Goodyear blimp!" said Ted, pointing above the cowboy's heads
The three cowboys turned around, confused at what the three teens were talking about. This gives them the chance to pull down their hats, plus a Melvin, to make a quick escape from the saloon. "I can't believe they fell for that!" said Ted
"I can't believe we're still alive!" said Tori
"Let's get out of here, guys!" said Bill
Billy the Kid shoots the air with his gun before following the trio towards the phone booth, keeping an eye out for anyone who gets in their way.

"You guys saved my life" said Billy, thanking the trio for saving him
"Nothing doing, Billy the Kid" said Ted, scrolling through the phone book to find their next destination. The outlaw looked at the book in confusion, wondering where they were going in such a hurry. "Where are we going?" he asked
"The Golden Age of Civilization" said Tori
"WHERE?!"
"Ancient Greece, dude!" said Bill, pulling Billy the Kid inside the phone booth. It was a rather tight fit, but they surprisingly managed to leave the wild west before any of them would get shot. The trio was finally off to their next destination and their next historical figure in Ancient Greece.