Bite Your Tongue

[ 2 ] Driver's Ed

It was already sweltering out by the time the Lieutenant's car pulled into the Mason's driveway. Through the windshield, Joanna could make out the image of Rosalie on the porch steps, a popsicle in hand, and her hair spun up into a messy bun. She was wearing an old cut-off t-shirt from some soccer camp sophomore year, and it was tie-dyed with the rainbow.

Joanna hopped out of the passenger's seat before the Lieutenant even parked. "Hey Hotshot: Think before you open the door!" the Lieutenant shouted after her.

Joanna pranced, kicked back, and shut the door with her foot as she let out a comical, "Oopsie!"

She scoped out the yard, the road, and the garage with a dramatic sashay to the side. Rosalie answered the unasked question. "Drew's not here yet."

"Thank the fucking Lord," Joanna said.

When the Lieutenant stepped out, she came equipped with a pair of aviator sunglasses and a bomber jacket despite it being eighty degrees outside. From afar, she looked suited to be a farmer's eldest, more attractive son in the middle of a cornfield after taking the ATVs out for a spin. With one hand on her hip, she rose her free hand up to Rosalie and said, "Howdy, Mason."

Joanna pinched the bridge of her nose as Rosalie laughed and said, "Hey, Lieutenant Spencer. Lovely day today!"

"You two sound like suburban moms," Joanna stressed, disgusted, and it just made Rosalie laugh again.

In the midst of fetching her bags out from the back seat, a beat up Toyota pulled up to the curb and in response, Joanna thumped her forehead against the open car door and sighed, "Here we go..."

Drew Mendoza, or better yet, The Bane Of Joanna's Existence, was more or less an enigma that leeched onto Rosalie ever since the State tournament at Loyola. And, after striking a deal with the Seattle Huskies' coach, Heather Patel, Drew became yet another Sisterhood recruit.

So yeah, Joanna couldn't be more thrilled to have Drew on their mediocre road trip. A part of Joanna wondered if Drew was just bullshitting Rosalie this entire time and wouldn't actually show up today. She wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case.

"Well, well, well," Drew chimed as they stepped out of the driver's seat and threw their arms over the roof of their car. Joanna grimaced in disgust as Drew propped their sunglasses atop their head and said, "We meet again, Spencer."

"We haven't even met once. I don't know you," Joanna said.

Rosalie's footsteps neared from behind her. When she passed, she handed a white, plastic wrapper to Joanna—a popsicle, cherry-flavored. Joanna squinted at her and decided, You win this time, as she unwrapped the popsicle and stuck it in her mouth.

"Drew! How's it going?" Rosalie said, all preppy like sunshine came out of her ass.

"Better now," they teased, and grinned wider when Joanna pretended to choke on her popsicle. "It's been too long, Rosie. Too long."

"You're exaggerating," Rosalie said.

The front door clicked open and from it, Jenn Mason walked out.

Joanna held her breath and waited for Her Queen (Jenn Mason) to exterminate Drew Mendoza on the spot with her killer stink eye.

Instead, Jenn Mason held a hand out to Drew and said, "Nice to meet you, Drew. I'm Rosalie's mother." Joanna hid her fallen jaw behind her popsicle, but luckily, her internal scream did not, in fact, become external. As Jenn gestured to Drew's car and stepped ahead of them, Drew caught Joanna's eye and blew her a kiss.