summary: After Juliana's latest failed date winds up publicized by famous YouTuber, Jamie-Lee Berry, everyone and their mother wants to meet the culprit behind the date's failure. Specifically, they want to meet Juliana's roommate, who seems to have a knack for sabotaging Juliana's nonexistent love life. (THIS ISN'T CANON, this is just a spinoff )
WARNING: Temporary Lennie content
It didn't take an FBI agent—or Blake Miles, for that matter—to hunt down evidence of Jamie-Lee Berry on the internet. Despite Jamie-Lee's humble, neutral presence on campus, he was easily recognizable to Juliana Lane for his very distinct personality. Specifically, Jamie-Lee's internet personality. On top of being a full-time student, Jamie-Lee Berry was a media personality of whom Juliana heard tell of in the past.
All it took was a vague sense of deja vu upon seeing Jamie-Lee's face on a dating app.
It was this event that sent Juliana into the spiral of, "God, where have I seen this kid before?" before coming to the conclusion that YouTube was the answer.
Though, she didn't want to soil the date by deep diving into Jamie-Lee's assortment of social media. She went into the date with nothing more than the facts listed on his profile and what they discussed through messaging on the app. It wasn't until after the date and over a week later that Juliana grew tired of being left on ✓Read and decided that she could risk looking at Jamie-Lee's social media.
The very first thumbnail video was stamped with the title, "TERRIBLE DATE MISTAKES."
"Dear God," Juliana moaned, freckled cheeks dropping onto her hands. The weight of her impending migraine, however, sunk her head onto the table with a dejected, dramatic half-sob.
The sound of her distress was promptly followed by a series of fast footsteps racing from the other side of the apartment. It wasn't her apartment, and the fact that she wasn't in her own apartment was a story for another time.
Blake skidded across the wood so fast his socks took him off track and into the wall. He yelped, shoulder bumping the corner as he cried, "What is it? I heard a damsel in distress and came running."
Juliana said nothing. She thumped her forehead on the table again for good measure before wordlessly turning the computer around for Blake to see.
Blake leant in, squinting. An instant later, his eyes widened in horror before looking to where Juliana had yet to look up from the table. Blake clicked on the thumbnail for her and crawled onto a chair to settle in for the show.
Juliana didn't look up until she heard Jamie-Lee's voice through the speakers, cheery as ever.
____
"Hey guys! Welcome to my channel. We are going on Day Seven of my existential crisis, which, if you aren't aware of, make sure you follow me on Twitter where my daily updates are. In case you aren't aware, you are witnessing an individual who has touched the face of God and glimpsed Heaven, and I fear the worst because it's turned me one hundred and ten percent straight. Beyoncé may have turned me bi, but this—ugh!—this changes the game, guys. It really does.
"Now, you may be wondering: Who is God if God is not a caucasian white male in a toga? I cannot begin to tell you without... regaling you on the events that led to this holy meeting. It begins with Tinder.
"As you may or may not be aware, Tinder takes up approximately fifty percent of my phone's battery life. It's sort of become a habit of mine to go on a date or two whenever I travel, which has been happening a lot, thanks to you guys. Anyway, that said, I've probably become a familiar face to a lot of the people on my campus and honestly I've made more friends through Tinder than I have hookups. Which, I mean, isn't a terrible thing, but a guy's gotta get some, you know?
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Bite Your Tongue
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