summary: When their roommate, Joanna, leaves her dog (Silke Rottenberg) with Lennie and Jamie-Lee over winter break, chaos ensues. They try to smuggle a dog into Target. They might abuse access to their neighbor's liquor cabinet. They also might like each other? Weird, I know.
warning: Very minimal lesbian content. Tragic, I know. I'm a simp for Lennie x Jamie-Lee, what can I say?
characters: Charlie Dominic is the Seattle girls' team captain and Sebastian is a SPECIAL GUEST, WHO YOU HAVEN'T MET BEFORE (he's Lennie's roommate in the Actual Sequel and he's chaotic)
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Things went south the day Joanna flew south—literally. Urban legends detailed emanate disaster when it came time for Joanna to fly to Rosalie's for the holidays. Her time at Rosalie's place in California wasn't the disaster, per se, but life back at the apartment was more or less an apocalypse.
The last time Joanna spent the weekend away, "someone" had thrown a Wii remote into the TV screen. Suffice to say they no longer had a functioning Wii system and a half-functional TV screen (if you politely ignored the black spot on the lefthand corner of the screen, that is). That same weekend her dog wound up with red dye on her fur for half a month. No one claimed responsibility for this.
So, suffice to say, Joanna was worried about leaving for Christmas for A) the sake of the apartment and B) the sake of her dog. Rationally, she knew those two idiots would take perfect care of Silke Rottenberg (the Pomeranian).
"Please, try to keep Rottenberg away from dye of any kind—red or otherwise," Joanna said, tired beyond belief.
"I promise Silke Rottenberg won't change colors while you're gone," Jamie-Lee reassured from where he was cradling the Pomeranian in his arms, perched on the barstool at the island countertop. Jamie-Lee nuzzled into Rottenberg' fur and cooed, "Isn't that right, Rottenberg? Yeah, that's right."
Joanna looked unconvinced, rubbing the back of her head as she looked over at Lennie, who was leaning against the sink with an overwhelmingly done-with-this-fucking-shit look on his face.
"Take me with you. I'll even say 'please'," Lennie said.
"Sorry man, only one ticket," Joanna said, and with that, she was off, abandoning Lennie in their shitty apartment with an even shittier companion to deal with.
That living pom-pom followed Jamie around everywhere and it was annoying as fuck. Everywhere Jamie was, Rottenberg was within spitting distance. It wasn't really an issue until Lennie had to start looking both ways down the hallway whenever he exited the bathroom in case Jamie was walking past, lest he accidentally punt the little sucker following behind Jamie into the wall. It was maddening.
It's not the worst case scenario, though, Lennie thought, because he had definitely had to deal with worse things than the sight of Jamie-Lee training Silke Rottenberg to sit pretty in his backpack.
"What. The fuck are you doing?" Lennie deadpanned from the living room where he was lounging on the couch, watching Jamie-Lee stuff the little rat into his backpack. Rottenberg was completely complacent.
"It's easier to transport him on a bus like this, don't you think?" Jamie-Lee said. "And I think you're allowed to have purse dogs on buses."
"Dude, Rottenberg isn't a purse dog," Lennie said.
"Yes she is—Look at her."
"No, she's a dog. Dogs don't belong in purses and—that isn't even a purse, dude."
YOU ARE READING
Bite Your Tongue
Random[ BOOK 2 ] Joanna Spencer, otherwise known as the catalyst for a whole host of problems, embarks on a cross-country adventure with our esteemed love interest, Rosalie Mason, and the bane of Joanna's existence, Drew Mendoza. It will take an entire bo...
