Born Of Regret (Discontinued)

A Panicked Awakening

Warning: This One Contains a Anxiety attack, and suicidal mentioning. If this makes you upset please don't continue.

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  My body is in pain. That's all that flooded my head when I woke up. I hadn’t taken any medication, so the pain wasn’t anything I knew about. As I sat up more pain flew through my body and my arms wrapped around myself. “God, What the hell is wrong with me.”
  I moved letting my legs temporarily dangle then plant on the floor as I sat on the edge of my bed. As I stood my legs practically turned to jelly I held onto my bed in order not to fall. “Damnit.” I wisppered as I pulled myself up and sat back down on my bed before grabbinh my phone and dialing my mother’s number, I don’t wanna risk my father waking up.

    It didn’t take long for her to come up to my room, she looked exhausted, “He kept her up didn’t he.” I sighed,
“My Legs, I can’t stand.” Came from my mouth before I could think, “My body hurts and I don’t know what's wrong.” I felt my anxiety spike, “What is wrong with me?” My mother nodded gently before she walked closer to me and put her hand out.

     “Let me help you up. Maybe it was a one time thing?” She offered, I simply nodded and grabbed her hand. More pain rushed through me, I held in a grunt as she pulled me up before she let go of me and I fell back onto my bed.

      “I told you something is wrong” I told her as she sat down next to me. I felt my throat tighten, “Always around her.” I looked up and leaned into her as she gently rubbed my back. I held back sobs as I pushed into her. “God, I hate this.” I muttered out as she smiled gently.

       “I know, you can’t help your disorder.” My disorder, a Anxiety disorder that always hits when it isn’t needed. I gently buried my head into her shoulder as she ran her fingers through my hair.

       As the pain slowly faded my Panic attack did as well. I moved my head and looked up at her, “Mom, you’re exhausted. You need to go to bed, you have work tomorrow.” I said as she shook her head and ruffled my hair gently standing.

      “I’ll go get you a heating pad, probably help with the pain.” I shook my head at her response and slowly stood as well.

        “No.. It’s… Faded.” I told her with a yawn. “You need to go to bed. I’ll be fine, you have work tomorrow and I have classes.” I walked up to her hugging my mother as she sighed, I could tell she was relieved. Her shoulders had lost tension when I hugged her.
   I smiled and kissed her cheek before waking back to my bed. “Goodnight mom.” I said as she moved over the door, closing it behind her as I sat on my bed.
      “I don’t deserve you..” I watched the door for a moment after she left, my hands covered my eyes as I groaned falling back into my bed. My mind was gonna start running if I didn’t fall back asleep and I wouldn't be able to function tomorrow.
      I was glad she was my mother, she is one of the reasons I hadn’t tried anything. Other than that it was the others that kept me sane. If I didn’t have them, any of them.

“Roman, Logan, Patton, Janus, Remus, Mom. You keep me alive.”

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Word Count: 579
Characters: Virgil and His Mother