Born Of Regret (Discontinued)

The First Test

Warning: This part involves self harm, Please!! Don’t read if this is a trigger or if you’re squeamish.
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I looked down at the box, I sighed before opening it. Inside was a surprisingly clean razer, I hadn’t touched this box in a while so it brought back some uncomfortable memories. I hadn’t even noticed that my hands had been rubbing my forearms.
    “Okay, because I don’t wanna risk it, my thighs are the best bet.” I told myself, I was trying to keep my mind clear. This stuff can make my mind enter a dark state. I took off my leggings and threw them into the dirty bin then slipped on shorts, before I returned my attention to the box.
    I sighed as I pulled up my jacket sleeves not wanting to get anything on it. “I’m only testing if I can control when I heal, how fast and well.” I opened the box, my eyes drifted around the Items inside.
    “I should probably grab a towel..” I didn’t even notice that I muttered that, I pulled a towel from the bin before lying it next to the box. I sat on the fabric before reaching into the box, taking a razor from it. I watched it in my fingers, the blade shown in the moonlight seeping through my curtains.
    I looked at my arm, my hand was shaking. The idea of slicing into my skin wasn’t new to me, but it was painful. I shook my head quickly, “Snap out of it, One try. One try to see if you can control it.” I put my free hand on my thigh, pulling the skin tight before bringing the sharp part to my leg. I slowly pulled the blade across my thigh, the horizontal cut forming. I winced before removing the razor, red started to scep from the wound.
    I watched the cut before sighing and focusing on the wound not healing. I kept watching it after a few, the wound still oozing. I smiled a tad before looking back at it and putting my concentration onto healing.
    I felt burning in my eyes, the wound started to stitch together. My skin returned to normal before I felt some tiredness overcome me. I rubbed my eye with my free hand, putting the razor back into the box. I let out a sigh of relief, hands instinctively running through my hair.
    “Okay, so I can control it. Good.. That makes it easier to hide.” I told myself, at least that takes some stress off of my situation. I gave the blood on my leg and on the towel a look, taking my thumb to my mouth before wiping the blood a bit then using the towel to dry it.
    I closed the box before noticing that I could see around my room perfectly. The dark isn't affecting my sight at all, “Oh… So I can see in the dark. . . Cool!” I smiled to myself as I looked around, standing after I picked up the towel. I threw it into the bin then turned to the bathroom.
    After a shower and changing my clothes I sat on my bed before the sound of a door slamming. I flinched before walking to my door, I looked over at my hoodie I had hung by my door, grabbing it in order to hide my arms. I slid it on over my shoulders, taking a deep breath into it. My own scent was calming in a way, but it had remnants of my friends' smells.
    Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t even noticed that I could distinguish them by smell. Patton was a sweets shop, he was sugary. Logan, He had a distinct smell of blackberry. Remus, He was straight up pickle juice and Janus is most definitely citrus. Roman, he’s spicy cinnamon with a mix of holly. My own smell, I figured it would be of something I hate, but it’s a lavender mixed with mint.
    As my mind drifted I suddenly felt like gagging as the scent of booze entered my nostrils. I held my nose as I opened the door, yelling erupting from the stairway. I peeked down the way, noticing my dad was on the phone. As of this moment, he was occupied with someone who wasn’t in this house and that was fine with me.
    I pulled my own phone from my pocket, checking the time for the hope of it being late. I gave a frustrated groan as the time showed, it was only 9pm.
    I was so tired, how is it still so early? I gave a sigh before as quietly sneaking back up the steps, as of what I was aware of my mom was asleep and it’s late enough for my dad not to see a point in starting anything. I sat on my bed before grabbing the box and slipping it under my bed. I wasn’t in the mood to put that away anyway.
    I pulled my phone out before looking at my messages. I had nothing sent so I opened our group chat.

        Stormcloud⛈️: Night you Guys.

    I didn’t bother checking for their responses, I was too tired to care. As I moved my phone to the charger I saw Roman’s chat bubble pop up one my screen, as much as I wanted to sleep I couldn’t ignore messages from him.
   
        Princey👑: Hey V! Figured I’d give you a personal good night. Sweet dreams.

    I smiled at the message before sending one back.

        Stormcloud⛈️: Night Princey.

    I put my phone in the end table’s cubby before cuddling into my blankets, thank god tomorrow is Friday. As I got comfortable, I closed my eyes attempting to fall asleep. A couple hours had passed, the amount I'm unsure but I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. I didn’t bother to check the time as I stood up.
    I walked into my bathroom grabbing a cup I kept inside the room so I didn’t have to risk waking my parents when going down stairs for water. I chugged down a glass before putting it back on the counter before wiping some water from my lip.
    I left the room, turning off the light before sitting on the edge of my bed quickly laying across the large mattress. I wasn’t gonna bother with checking the time, I’d just put more stress on my brain as it is. I really should tell them, they’ll help me. Right…
    Nevermind scratch that, i’ll just let this play out. If I tell them I risk them getting hurt and it getting out. Who knows what will happen if what's happening to me is found out by someone of power. God, what if the government tried to make me a test subject! They’d dysect me and. . . they’d kill me.
    I could hear my heart in my ears so I started to try calming myself down, it wasn’t working. I pulled up my phone not bothering to acknowledge the time as I started to scroll through pictures of us. At this point I could only hear my heart. My limbs were numb but I knew I needed to stop. As I looked through the photos, I found one. It was just me and Roman, sitting on the stage after last year's play. I was in full black, as expected of a stage crew member, and he was still in costume. His face had plenty of make up, he had been blessed with being the lead, his clothes were pretty normal, last year we did Be More Chill by Joe Tracz and Ned Vizzini.
    I smiled at the photo, Roman and I were next to each other, his hand on my head as he had ruffled my hair. I on the other hand had originally had my hands on my lap but when he had ruffled my hair I had moved my hands up to my head to stop him.
    I smiled as the calming memory entered my mind helping me calm down. I gave a sigh of relief as I could hear my heart rate slowing down a bit. I looked at the photo before making it my phone's wallpaper. I then returned my phone to its place.
    I sat down on my bed again, my hand running through my bangs as I let out a sigh. I laid across it again, trying to let my mind wander through good memories. I eventually got bored and sat up, giving the thoughts a rest. I headed over to the window happily looking out at the faint stars I could see.
    I felt a jolt in my side, I looked over at my door not seeing anything. My eyes were glowing again, I could tell from the change in tones of light. The feeling happened once more, I looked around again. I still saw nothing, so I returned to the window, my eyes quickly widening at what I witnessed.
    Someone was watching me. . . I saw a pair of eyes in front of me before they quickly ducked out, disappearing from my sight.

   
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Word Count: 1.5K
Characters: Virgil, Roman, Mr. Storm, and ???