I wake up the next day with my body throbbing. It's lessened since when I fell asleep, but the pain is still there; a sort of phantom. I glance at my watch. 6:30. I'm awake early, earlier than anyone else in the dormitory. Mark mentioned last night that we'd be going out today, so I'm not much use just lying here. I may as well start the day soon.
I heave myself out of bed, only the very tips of my toes hitting the ladder as I make my way down to the floor. A soft snore escapes someone's lips. Newt's, his face more peaceful than I have ever seen it awake. I laugh quietly as I reach into my drawer for the day's clothes, preferably ones not drenched in blood or sweat. I don't have many options - perhaps it would be a good idea to go shopping again.
Thrifting through the black fabrics, my hand lands on the new dress that Teresa and Brenda coerced me into buying. Briefly, I consider wearing it. We won't be doing any physical stuff today, and I don't have much else to put on.
I can't help but think of the last time I wore it, and the smile that Newt gave me that day, telling me I looked good. I do sort of want him to look at me like that again.
But then I think of Minho's laugh, and Brenda's likely comment, asking me who I'm wearing it for. I don't even want to think about my answer to that question, to tell you the truth. I'll just end up embarrassing and confusing myself. I shove the pretty garment back into the drawer, and select my last black tank top and jacket. A pair of dark jeans will need to suffice.
In the bathroom, I brush my hair in the dark, splashing my face with cold water. The soap I use to scrub my hands stings as it enters the newly formed scratches on my fists. I wonder what we'll be doing today. I think Mark mentioned something about going above ground, which I am both excited and terrified by. To go outside may mean seeing the face of my brother, or people I knew in what now feels like another lifetime.
•••
A few hours later, after a breakfast full of curious chatter about what we'll be doing today, the seven of us meet Mark at the very top of the Dauntless compound. In the early morning sun, the train tracks shine silver, and the atmosphere seems to brighten with joy at the prospect of getting out of the dark underground.
Soon enough, an approaching train's horn drowns out my murmur of conversation with Teresa, and quickly, Mark urges us all to leap onto the train. The metallic car floor is hot, and I have to leap to haul myself up, landing on my stomach. Newt grabs my hand and helps me up, and I thank him with a fast beating heart, his hand warm and calloused. Brenda winks, and I am briefly glad that I didn't wear that black dress, for fear of her throwing a laughing fit. There is no door to shut, so when Mark draws himself up with apparent ease, a draft of wind enters the train, a burst of fresh air into our faces.
Looking into the gap, I stare out into the city. Driving towards the edge, we are about to pass the factionless sector, through which I used to pass as I walked to the bus stop with Chuck. Full of dark buildings in urgent need of repair, I think of helping the factionless late into the night, handing out extra food and blankets, hungry faces staring at us with both gratefulness and intense anger. As the train slows for a brief second, I notice a group of bodies, huddled together, trembling even through the day's warmth. A mother clutches to a tiny child who looks only weeks old, two toddlers holding onto her ankles as if their life depends on it. They wear no distinctly coloured clothes, but a blend of all the factions, blue pants and black shirts and shoes of different shades of red and yellow and grey.
The train travels fast, and I meet the mother's eyes for just a split second. The childrens' faces are pinched and hollow, eyes needy and saddened. I look away sooner than I have to, my own heart aching. I could be helping them, if only I had stayed. Soon, I may be one of them. Perhaps many of my friends, too.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Transfers of Dauntless | Newt x Reader
Fanfiction(y/n) (y/l/n). A girl from the selfless faction of Abnegation. She lives under the control of Abnegation with her father and younger brother Chuck. She has always imagined her future as one in her original faction, but finds she begins to doubt her...
