Going Nowhere

June 21, 2016

There was nothing I could do. I wasn’t going to leave Michael. They told me they would come down here after the tour ended, but who knows whether or not they would stay. So, I’ve spent the last few days sitting idly on the couch, spending hours imagining Sophie with a baby.

 

There was no question of the blonde curls poking out when the baby grew; the bright blue or green eyes either. Surrounded by music, I’d be surprised if that kid grew up and didn’t fall in love with music. That kid would be a reader; they would sit still while Sophie brushed back their hair for the first day of school, smile as widely as humanly possible. They’d spend holidays at my house, hanging out with my kids...

 

Michael broke my thought process, rounding the coffee table and placing a cup of hot chocolate down next to me. “Do you want kids?”

 

I shake my head, and smile to myself, astounded at how he could read me so easily. Reaching out, I pick it up and blow at the surface, trying to cool the liquid. “At least take me on a date first.”

 

“No, no,” He blushes, gripping his cup tighter. His sweater is wrapped around his hands, making me fret that the cup could easily fall from his hands. “Not with me… not that I wouldn’t want kids with you… I just think you’d make a good mum.”

 

I scoff, smiling over at him. “When have you ever seen me with a child?”

 

He shrugs, looking down at his mug. “I’ve just seen the way you smile at little kids when you see them out with their mums. And you told me once, a while ago, you wanted kids.”

 

I bite my lip, I had always wanted kids. They way Michael blushed and got flustered when I implied having kids with him; I saw a little boy in a high chair giggling away. Big green tinted eyes and a lopsided grin that would match his fathers. Michael being a father…

 

“I do,” I nod. “A small herd of them would be nice.”

 

He chuckles, setting his cup down on the table. “There’d be a little army of ‘em. C'mere,” he opens his arms, motioning for me to come and cuddle up to him. My cup is placed on the table near his, giving my the ability to scoot down the couch and lean into his chest. Michael’s arms wrap around my waist; my head resting on his shoulder.

 

There was a pause as we both pondered the idea of kids. I’m not sure if I saw Mikey and I having kids together, I saw us together at holidays; family gatherings, but everyday after school, kissing each other goodbye and hello…

 

“Would you ever want that with me?” He nudges me slightly, automatically placing a grin on my face.

 

“Want what? A family?”

 

He pauses a moment. “Yeah,”

 

I let my eyes flutter shut, grasping his shirt in my fist. “Why would you want to have kids with me?”