Sweet Sweet Suicide (Kellic)

Chapter 4

Kellin's POV

I was disappointed when I saw vic wasn't in class today, maybe he'll be here later. We didn't have anything to do today in English so Mr. Gaskarth was asking what we were going to do this weekend.

"Tay what will you be doing this weekend?" "Um probably just hang out with a couple friends, what about you Mr. Gaskarth?" " I going on a date, and what have I told you guys I want you to call me Alex I don't like the whole formal name calling." He said with a laugh.

I smiled as I started to think of vic again, he looked so sad even when he was smiling I still saw the pain and sadness in his eyes. Last year I never would have noticed the sadness in people's eyes but that was before I felt the way I do, but I've learned to hide it well. But when I'm alone at night I let down my mask and let the tears fall down my face while I clutch the blade in my hand, and make slashes on my hips and thighs.

I hope that beautiful man doesn't cut, I hope that he doesn't feel alone like I do. I hope he was just having a bad day and that was why he looked so sad, because that would be better than the other which would be that he is just like me wanting to stop existing so I can stop failing and stop making mistakes. To wish every night before falling asleep to never wake up again. To cry yourself to sleep and when u do wake up you realize that it's like a reverse nightmare, sleep being your happy place and a place to go to escape then to wake up in hell, and be in a nightmare till you can sleep again; or eventually get enough courage to finally end it all.

I've tried to kill myself two times, each time I wake up in the hospital to see fake concern on my parents faces. I don't know why they don't just let me die, probably because they want to make me miserable. But at least we moved here, I know I've only talked to vic like two times but I'm starting to like him, his hair just looks so touchable and i could get lost in those beautiful brown eyes. Then there is also austin my half brother his mother died so we decided to move here to be with him, I'm kind of upset that I don't have any classes with him.

Austin still hasn't told dad that he's gay or that he has a boyfriend. But I understand why, when I came out to my dad he laughed in my face and told me he won't have a faggot as a son and that it's just a phase.

That's one of the reasons I hate my father also one of the reasons I don't want to be here anymore.

I get startled out of my thoughts when the bell rings. I grab my things and head to my next class.

***

I'm sitting in my last class waiting to see if vic will show up. My heart drops when I see him, he's walking with a limp and has a huge bruise on his face. Who would want to do that to him, it reminds me of myself when I would get beaten by people at my old school it makes me want to cry.

When he sits next to I look at him for a minute. "Do you want to hang out after school?" He said. Wow that's weird I didn't think he wanted to be friends. I can't help but smile and blush a little as I say yes. He smiles and starts to listen to what the teacher is saying.

When the bell rings he grabs his things and waits for me. I smile as we walk out of class together and to our lockers. When we have our things we head out to his car, and head to his house.