Never Getting Back Together

TWENTY-TWO

I lean against the side of the barn, breathing in the tangy scent of freshly-cut hay and trying to slow the hammering of my fragmented heart. I press my palm against my chest, forcing myself to focus on the steady rise and fall as I stare up at the sea of stars, blinking back tears.

The sunflowers in the field rustle in the faint breeze, and fireflies dance through the air. They remind me of all the times Ty and I sat out here watching them from the bed of his pickup truck before getting lost in each other. I never felt safer or more whole than I did on those nights we spent together. But thinking about it now only makes the chasm in my heart crack wider.

The pain of watching Ty in there with Kallie sears through me again. He's never posted any photos on social media to make me think he was with anyone new. And while I always assumed he'd move on eventually, I always envisioned him falling for some girl out in California. Some anonymous person I'd never have to see in a place where my memories with Ty feel close enough to touch.

"Quinn!"

Ty runs out the front doors of the barn and stops. His head whips back and forth, searching the parking lot. His hands drop to his sides, and his shoulders slump when he finds it empty. I can't imagine why he'd be disappointed not to find me when I'm sure Kallie's inside waiting for him.

But before I have time to puzzle it out, he turns. His gaze meets mine through the darkness, and he strides toward me without hesitation, not stopping until he's standing only inches away.

"What happened back there? Why'd you leave?" His eyes search my face like he's hoping to see the answers written there.

Maintaining eye contact with him makes the wave of emotions rolling through me swell until I'm certain they're going to drag me under and wash me away. I focus on a point over his shoulder.

"I needed some air."

"You looked upset."

I want to say something snarky to him because, of course, I'm upset. He shows up again out of the blue, acting like he still cares about me, asking me to save him a dance, turning my life upside down. And while he might not have said otherwise, I certainly didn't expect to discover I was just one of the many girls he planned to get cozy with on the dance floor.

I have no idea how to explain everything I'm feeling, though. Laying my soul bare in front of Ty when he's given me nothing but loaded glances to go off of is terrifying. So all I say is, "I'm fine."

"Don't do that." Ty scrubs an irritated hand over the back of his neck. "Don't tell me you're fine when you're not."

"What do you want me to say, Ty?" Tears sting the back of my eyes again, and I fight to keep my voice from wavering. How can he act like he knows me better than anyone and still be completely oblivious to the fact that he's stomping all over what's left of my heart?

"I want you to tell me the truth!" Ty's words echo off the barn wall, frustration bursting out of him. His head droops, and he lets out a sigh, lowering his voice. "I want—no. I need you to tell me where your mind's at. You get jealous when you see me dancing with Kallie. And you look at me like..." He trails off, and I want to interrupt, to tell him I'm not jealous. That I couldn't care less. But I can't bring myself to lie to him, not when he's standing so close and looking like his heart's in as many pieces as my own. Ty's gaze falls to the ground, and he swallows. "You look at me like you still want to be with me, and it's killing me, Quinn."

"It's killing you?" I snap because how dare he act like he's the victim here. He's the one who wouldn't listen when I told him not to pull that prank in high school. He's the one who got me arrested and left without apologizing. And he's the one who's going to leave me behind again in the fall. "You show up here like nothing's changed. Like you didn't break my heart and skip town without looking back. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here with a million memories of us I can't forget no matter how hard I try."