Forget-Me-Not → Regulus Black

I'm Fine

Aurelia and the four remainder Marauders boarded the train, most of them having a euphoric expression — feeling completely elated to exchange gifts and sing Christmas carols all day long. By the time school would start again, it would be a whole different year; a year full of promises and new beginnings. New Years was both a time to say goodbye, and a time to say hello. 

"I'm going to miss you guys," Peter said. "It's never the same without you four."

"We're kind of like one big puzzle, aren't we?" Remus said. "Without each other, we're just not...complete."

Aurelia gave a small nod of agreement. "True friends are never apart though. Maybe in distance, but never in heart."

"You are all so cheesy," Peter complained. 

James snorted. "I thought you liked us being cheesy, considering you're a rat and all."

Peter seemed about to protest, but he reconsidered the statement and shrugged. It was true, and although for the first few weeks of being an animagus Peter was upset that he took on the form of a rat, he now realized the advantages — he was smaller and could fit through more things their other animaguses could not. If he needed a chance to escape it wouldn't be hard to go unnoticed, maybe even for years. 

The group of students were silent for only a moment before everyone began talking excitedly. All except one.

Aurelia noticed that Sirius was awfully quiet compared to his usually boisterous self. 

"Are you okay?" Aurelia asked, although she already knew the answer.

Sirius looked up, and forced a smile. "Fine. Thanks." 

James turned his attention to Sirius. "Padfoot, are you sure—"

"I said I'm fine! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?"

His exclamation brought all the Marauders to look at him; Aurelia felt completely vulnerable by the look he was shooting at them; it was only a handful of times when he wore that expression. "Sirius, you can talk to us."

 "It doesn't matter. I need to...think. I'll be right back." 

Sirius dramatically barged out of the compartment, leaving the four Marauders to sit in silence. 

Aurelia couldn't tear her eyes off where Sirius had been. "Why do they lie so often?"

Remus looked bewildered. "They?"

"Nothing," Aurelia murmured. "I'll be right back."

Aurelia went out of the compartment, searching through the corridors. She continued to look through each compartment, trying to catch the sight of one of her best friends.

All of a sudden, she collided into someone who had been looking in the complete opposite direction. 

Aurelia fell over with a hard slam. Groaning, she got up. She recognized the person as her partner in potions. His icy blue eyes felt like they were chilling the inside of her core. Aurelia felt her previous aching head that she had gotten from falling over disappear, leaving no evidence that she had been hurt. Making sure she was okay, Regulus gave her a small smile, looking slightly flustered. 

"Sorry about that," Regulus said, using his arms to steady her. "Wasn't paying attention." 

"It's fine. I was wondering if perhaps you know where your brother is?"

Regulus' smile instantly dropped. "Sirius? I think he went in that direction." 

He motioned to the opposite direction to where Aurelia had previously been searching.

"Is there...any reason as to why you're looking for him?"

"He's upset. I was just going to see if he's alright." Aurelia gave a nervous laugh. "You both do that quite often, don't you... I mean... pretend that you're okay, when really you're not." 

Regulus was completely off guard by her statement. "What are you talking about?"

Aurelia stood there, feeling quite embarrassed; she often said things without thinking, and it was then that she realized how embarrassing her words were. Not to mention, despite Regulus being a few inches taller than her, both he and Sirius were somehow capable of towering over her, making her look quite small in comparison. 

"Nothing. I- I should probably go after him now."

Regulus said nothing, making Aurelia feel self-conscious. She made to turn back, but what Regulus said next nagged her mind throughout the remainder of the year.

"People like Sirius and I... We say 'I'm fine' in order to hide our scars, when in reality nothing is fine. Because no one is capable of understanding someone else's pain — even if it's explained."

"Someone's quite the poet," Aurelia commented. Regulus let out a bark of laughter that sounded strangely like Sirius'. Aurelia frowned at the sound.

Now, it was time to find Sirius.