Hold Me Now (Levi X Male!Reader)

In 2000 Years

Music 》[Bleeding Out - SVRCINA cover]

Felicity POV

The horses had been scattered when the titans came running into the town and everyone else was already being rounded up to retreat back to Trost. So it was difficult to find two horses for us to take. In the end I found my horse and helped Captain (Name) up onto her back before mounting up behind him. He took hold of the reins and led the horse through the main street, kicking her up into a run as I wrapped my arms around his middle to hold on since I wasn't in the saddle. We easily caught up with the others to begin our retreat from the edge of the town.

As we rode along the large expanse plains between us and Wall Rose, I hugged (Name) tighter and rested my cheek against the back of his shoulder. I couldn't thank Corporal Levi enough for saving my squad leader's life by killing that titan just before it could close its mouth. I had arrived at the center of town with Levi Squad in tow just in time to watch that four meter titan toss (Name) into its mouth. It wasn't simple comrade sentiment that caused my heart to shatter to pieces upon seeing that happen. Yes, I was in love with the man that was my squad leader. However, no one knew but me. After all, what good was voicing those feelings when either of us could be killed at any moment during an expedition? It would only hurt him too if he knew how I truly felt and I were to die. So I kept it to myself, loving him from the sidelines and just doing the best I could to please him as my superior soldier.

I was thankful he didn't question my show of affection as we continued on, unsure what I would say if he did comment on it. The one-sided tender moment was cut short when I spotted a titan in the distance. I sat up more and let go of (Name) to get a red flare ready. The titan ran straight for us on the outer edge of the formation and I raised the gun into the air above my head, holding onto (Name)'s shoulder to steady myself as I fired it off. A trail of red smoke shot up into the air and I looked to the other side in the direction of the other squads, watching as a stagger of red flares went up throughout the formation to relay the message.

I looked back to the titan running toward us and then to the profile of (Name)'s face that I could see from behind him and I frowned deeply, feeling hot tears well up in my eyes before I even had time to register my own thoughts. My mouth worked on its own and I let go of his shoulder, putting the flare gun away in favor of drawing my blades when the beast was almost upon us. "Keep going, Captain. I'll take care of this one."

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Reader POV

"Keep going, Captain. I'll take care of this one." Felicity's voice echoed in my head as I whipped it around to look at her in shock and fear. Her tone had sounded so full of love and sadness that it hurt just to hear it. I could see the tears in her eyes that had yet to fall as she carefully got up to crouch on the horse's rump. It was as if everything after that happened in slow motion as she gave me a sad smile and turned around to shoot herself off toward the titan's leg as it tried to catch up to us. I could feel the hammering beat of my heart against my bruised ribcage and I could hear it in my ears, deafening the sounds of the world around me.

I watched in hopelessness as Felicity flung around the titan's ankles, making clean cuts. It fell down with a crash that threw my horse off balance and it took a tumble with me on her back. I was thrown from the saddle and skidded along the dirt and grass, bringing my arms up to protect my head until I came to a stop. I quickly looked up in the direction of the titan that was now getting up onto all fours, using one hand to make a grab for Felicity as she used her maneuver gear to angle herself for the killing blow.

But she never got to land it. I lay there in the grass, eyes wide with horror as the titan caught her leg and ripped her from the air, dangling her in front of its face as it sat up on its knees, a sickening grin on its face. The titan grabbed her flailing arms with its other hand and proceeded to pull her apart. I could see her guts spill out as the flesh ripped apart and her maneuver gear fell to the ground with nothing left to hold onto. I couldn't even scream at the sight before me, silent hot tears welling up in my eyes and causing my vision to go slightly blurry. With her now gone, my entire squad was KIA all within a single expedition...

In a sudden rush of adrenaline, I pushed myself to my feet and drew my blades that were slightly damaged from my previous encounter in the town, running the short distance between me and the titan as it ate Felicity's bottom half then dropped her upper body to the ground as it focused on me. It was much more difficult to shoot out my anchors from my damaged maneuver gear but it worked well enough that I could compensate and I shoot off to the right of the creature, adjusting my weight to curve around and up with a burst of gas. I avoided the hand that grabbed for me and reeled myself in for the kill, relishing in the feeling of my blades digging deep into the titan flesh at its nape, closing my eyes in relief at the hot spray of steaming blood that washed over my entire body.

My landing on the ground was rather rough and I'm pretty sure I twisted my knee but the pain that gave me was but a minor inconvenience compared to the utter heartbreak of losing my entire squad, especially Felicity, who had been closer to me than anyone else in the Regiment. With the titan dead and beginning to disintegrate, I ran over to where her dismembered upper body lay in the bloodstained grass. I dropped to my knees beside her, ignoring the hoofbeats approaching from the squad that had taken up a position behind us. Her eyes were open wide with a fear that would never leave them now as they remained still and unblinking in the bright sunlight above us. "Feli... I'm so sorry..." I felt compelled to apologize to her for being unable to save her, setting my blades aside in favor of reaching for the front left pocket of her uniform jacket so I could rip the emblem off and place it in my own breast pocket.

As the other squad stopped their horses around me, I wiped my eyes on the back of my jacket sleeve and stood back up with some difficulty from the pain my aching body was in. I whistled for the horse who came trotting over from a distance away. I couldn't look at any of the other soldiers as I simply mounted the horse and began to ride off once more, feeling rather numb after my little hissy fit. And even more so when the remainder of the retreat back to Trost went perfectly smooth, as if all the deaths that had just taken place out there meant absolutely nothing. And perhaps in the grand scheme of things, they did mean nothing, but for me... I would remember my squad until the day I died, no matter how much it hurt inside to have them no longer be beside me.