Hold Me Now (Levi X Male!Reader)

Amid Despair

Music 》[On My Own - Ashes Remain]

5 Days Later

Reader POV

I sat down in the grass against the wall of the main building and looked out over the field that some squads were practicing hand to hand combat in, allowing myself to get lost in the comfortable quietness that hung in the air. And for the first time since that meeting with Erwin, I wasn't thinking about anything other than how nice the day was. It was peaceful, sunny with a scattering of whispy white clouds floating slowly through the sky on the gentle breeze that smelled of grass and tree pollen.

I must have sat there for an hour before my butt started to grow slightly numb from being in the same position for so long. I shifted to start and get up only to freeze when ice cold water splashed down on me from above. The hard impact of a wooden bucket knocked me flat on the now muddy ground and I gritted my teeth in favor of not yelling out obscenities at whoever knocked the bucket from the window on the third floor above me. Instead, I pushed myself to my feet and grabbed the bucket with an angry huff before stomping off to get back inside the building and up to the room the bucket had come from.

I slammed the door open and raised the bucket, ready to throw it at the idiot that had knocked it out of the window. But I stopped myself mid swing and tightened my grip on the bucket, now staring dumbly at Corporal Levi, Petra, and Oruo who all were dressed in cleaning paraphernalia. "Ah! I'm so sorry, did the bucket land on you? Oruo accidentally knocked it out the window." Petra fretted and set her mop against the wall to come to my side as I lowered the bucket in my hand with a defeated sigh. "It's fine, Petra. Anyway, here's your bucket back. I need a shower. That water stinks." I complained and was about to walk out of the room again only to be stopped my Levi's voice. "(Name), use the shower in my room. It's closer. You're tracking dirty water all over the floors."

I looked back at him a bit confused but nodded anyway. I wasn't about to get on Levi's bad side on top of already giving his crew more to clean up... Even if it was Oruo's fault I was tracking dirty mop water all over. "Thanks, Corporal." He only grunted in response and I made my way to his office and in turn his attached bedroom that had a shower in the bathroom after grabbing a spare uniform from my own office. It was a bit of a walk and I made a mental note to clean up the floor in the halls after my shower.

~~~~

After showering and dressing in a dry uniform, I made sure to clean up any mess I had made in Levi's room as well as on the floors in the halls before returning to search for the Corporal. I found him leaning against the wall outside of his office when I walked back down that hallway and he pushed himself off it when I drew closer. "(Name), have you decided which squad you will join yet?" The question was simple and sounded almost bored yet curious. I shook my head in honesty then let out a small sigh. "It's not exactly an easy decision. I have the chance to work with some of the best soldiers in the entire regiment... But if I'm going back to taking orders as if I'm some cadet again, I want to learn something from the experience. I can't figure out where I would learn the most and which would be more worth while in the long run."

"Hah? If that's what you want, then pick Erwin or that shitty four eyes." Levi's tone was matter of fact and didn't really leave room for further discussion but I kept the conversation up anyway. "I could learn a lot from Mike or you too, Corporal. I've only been a squad leader for two years now." "Then just pick someone at random. If you can learn something from all of us then it doesn't matter, does it? Hurry up, Erwin is waiting and there's only two weeks left before the expedition. You need to choose so you can know your job and where you will be during it." Levi crossed his arms and walked into his open office, closing the door with his foot and therefore concluding our conversation.

I let out a soft sigh of slight frustration as I stood there in the hall, silently mulling over what Levi had said. He was right. I was overthinking this whole thing and I just needed to pick someone. With a frustrated click of my tongue, I spun on my heel and stalked off to Erwin's office, knocking on the door before entering. I didn't even wait for him to say it was okay to come in. The Commander lifted his head from the paperwork he was working on and looked over at me a bit surprised but the expression passed quickly and turned to intrigue. He leaned back in his chair and set down his pen, gesturing for me to come and take a seat in front of his desk.

I did so promptly, closing the door behind me and speaking up before he could get a word in. "I've decided what squad I'd like to join temporarily." I paused, for dramatic effect of course, watching Erwin sit up a bit in interest. "I'd like to join Squad Levi." A strange grin snaked its way onto Erwin's features and he leaned over to shuffle through some papers on his desk. "I believe you will do very well with that squad. Here, this will be your position and task during the next expedition. Make sure to inform Levi of your decision as well. He will be eager to put you to work." That same devious smile played on his lips as I took the papers, stood and saluted him. He knew I was going to pick Levi's squad from the start...

As I left Erwin's office, I recalled something that had completely slipped my mind from the first and only time I'd heard it 5 years ago when I'd joined the Scouts. Nobody was assigned to Squad Levi, they were all hand picked by Levi himself. Levi's squad being an option for me to choose from was no coincidence. Levi had effectively chosen me and without even realizing it I had been controlled into 'choosing' his squad as my temporary home. My place had already been decided for me by the Corporal. Despite my slight annoyance at being manipulated into choosing a squad already chosen for me, I felt a warm sense of pride bubble up inside me knowing that Humanity's Strongest Soldier wanted me on his squad. He had acknowledged my skills as a soldier to the highest degree possible by choosing me to be on his squad, even if it was by rather underhanded and discreet means.