New life

Talks and apologys

Alex's PoV

I hear a noise and turn and see Miracle wrapped up in her blanket and wonder how I didn't even hear her come down the stairs. "Hey princess did you have a good nap?" She doesn't reply she just looks at me and says "I'm going to stay here but I think it's best you go home to Nicole", I just look at her not knowing what to say my heart hurts from hearing her say that. "Why do you think that princess?" "It's the right thing to do, I'm a burden to Nicole and you and last night just highlighted how you aren't ready for a little". I'm shocked by how mature she is and how she is being completely honest and upfront with her feelings and opinions and in my head I agree I don't really think Nicole wants Miracle as a little, I honestly think she's doing it for me, maybe I should ask her. I turn to her and say "you are my princess and you are my priority and Nicole is bringing over dinner and I know she wants to apologise to you". She just nods her head at me and I suggest we watch Aladdin which she just agrees to.

Nicoles PoV

I know what I said sounds pretty bad but I don't really understand why I should apologise to her, she was the one eavesdropping on our private conversation. I will just apologise though for making her think she is a burden after I told her only hours before that she wasn't. If I'm being honest I don't want Miracle as our little it's not because of Miracle it's because she's a girl. I wanted a little boy but Alex won't be with another man, but I'm ok with being with Miracle so far as she's very open and honest and willing to try the things I want to do. I arrive at our favourite restaurant and order 3 lots of food for takeaway and then head to Miracles.

I knock on the door and Alex opens the door and I walk in and smile at him and say "how's the rest of your day been babe?" He just looks at me and replies with "pretty quiet after a busy morning of meetings it's been nice. How's your day been?" I just say "oh you know the usual, some kids trying get through class as soon as possible some acting like clowns and then lots of planning for next weeks classes." I then follow him into the living room where Miracle is laid on a recliner chair wrapped up with her blanket and stuffed toy. I go over to her and say "hi miracle did you have a nice afternoon?" She just quietly replies with "yes Mrs De Luca it was ok thank you, did you have a good day at work?" I just reply with "it was ok thank you". I stay quiet after that now realising how bad what I said has affected her for her to call me by my name she uses at school. I decide to sit in the chair closest to her and say "I brought your favourite food for dinner shall we go eat and then after, Alex can get some ice cream while we have a talk is that ok?" She just replies with "thank you for the food and I will listen to what you want to say". She then shuffles off to the kitchen to get plates, cutlery and drinks for us all and puts it at the dining room table. I then dish everything up and we eat.

We have finally finished eating and Alex has left for ice cream so i take Miracle back to the living room for our chat

Nic - Miracle what I said last night was in no way meant to make you feel like a burden. I didn't even know that you knew until after our class and you said what you did and Alex then confirmed it when I messaged earlier.
Mira - how would you take it if it was the other way around?
Nic - I would feel crushed and like I didn't really matter and was in the way
Mira - exactly
Nic - please Miracle I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you and had I known you were there then I would of explained it to you.
Mira - well here's your chance to explain then.
Nic - Alex and I have been trying for a baby for about 12 months and nothing has happened.
Mira - is that why you want me as your little so I can be your temporary baby until you have a real one.
Nic - of course not Miracle we want both
Mira - ok
Nic - anyway the conversation I wanted to have was to discuss trying IVF
Mira - surely it would of been better to include me if I'm apparently not a temporary fixture and would need to know how to help you if Alex isn't around.
Nic - wow Miracle I'm surprised how mature you are being right now after everything that's happened. Ok now that we have spoken about things, you are right in what you have said and you are not a temporary fixture. I shouldn't exclude you from these things and I won't from now on, so I have spoken to Alex earlier about it and he feels that we should at least get tested before trying IVF. 
Mira - probably a good idea, you don't want to be wasting money on something that still may not fix the problem. As you may find you may need a surrogate or donors to be able to have a baby.
Nic - wow Miracle I'm so glad that we talked about this, I hope you will forgive us as we need you to complete us.
Mira - I need space right now to think about if I can be with you both as I don't know how to feel with what has happened. I know Alex is sorry but I'm still hurt.
Nic - I understand Miracle.

I then put a new film on for Miracle to watch while we wait for Alex to come back with the ice cream.