ʙᴀᴅ ᴏʙꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜɪʀᴛᴇᴇɴ☆

Izzy takes some time to reflect on his thoughts.

Izzy woke up much earlier than you, he laid beside you and listened to the comforting sound of your deep breathing for a period of time while he collected his thoughts.

Last night had been...chaotic, to say the least. He didn't like breaking down, in front of anyone, not even himself. But it had all got too much, and the tequila never helped.

He felt a sense of relief at being open about how he felt about you, even if he hadn't completely admitted it yet. It was a start. It lifted a weight from his shoulders he wasn't even aware he was carrying, and he both wanted to hold back the rest but also tell you about every inch of his soul, sharing his entire being with you.

He reached out to twiddle a strand of your hair between his fingers, idly closing and opening his eyes as he tried to stay awake. He'd never been the kind of guy to get sappy, or romantic, or even show his happiness half of the time.

You made him want to, and that scared him. It was foreign, unusual, terrifying. When you'd first slept together, he'd been so close to blurting out his thoughts mid thrust, but his assumptions led him to believe you'd only reject him. And he wasn't prepared to be embarrassed like that.

He thought you'd realised how he felt anyways, which was the sole reason he was such a dick during the party, trying to make it crystal clear that he wasn't interested in you. Even if his heart screamed the complete opposite to him.

He sighed as you tossed around in your slumber, there was an ever so slight glow to you, one he hadn't seen before. He hoped he was the reason for it, and not just the sleep you were getting.

He wondered how the guys would react if they'd seen you here together, would they be mad that he'd essentially broken a pact? Would they be happy? They always banged on about Izzy needing to find someone. Izzy scoffed, hypocrites, none of them were tied down.

Would Duff truly be pissed? Wouldn't he rather someone he knows was the guy you shared a bed with? Then again, he'd seen Izzy at his worst, and that was definitely a turn off. He'd seen him treat groupies as if they were something he'd stepped on. No, Duff would not be happy at all.

During the two week break from tour, he'd sat down with Duff, who was unable to stop himself from getting involved after witnessing your argument. Duff made it very clear he wasn't happy with his behaviour, Izzy apologised, but the guilt never left.

Making you cry was one of the worst things he felt he'd done, and he'd been arrested for public indecency, something that was surely deemed worse. His heart sank when he saw Duff wiping a tear from your cheeks, he honestly hadn't thought you'd care enough to be upset. If anything, he thought you'd be glad that he announced he wanted nothing more from you.

The harder Izzy thought on it, the further back he could remember having some kind of attachment to you. Three months ago you'd gone to a fancy dress party, and he had to wear his shades indoors just so he could watch you without being caught.

He could remember it clear as day, you strutting in with Duff after spending hours getting ready together, you'd decided to come as Sandy and Danny from Grease, although you'd had to spend the entire evening convincing people you and Duff weren't a couple. Izzy had watched your hair bounce with each step, the pink jacket flung over your shoulder as you giggled and danced with your mutual friends. The shine in your eye as you had the time of your life had almost made his heart stop, yet he was so adamant for so long that he felt nothing for you.

Truth be told, he was afraid to feel anything for you. He'd had his heart broken in the past, and he wasn't entirely keen on having that repeated. That, and, the whole Duff situation made things a hundred times harder.

How long he'd been in love? He wasn't sure. The thought had made him freeze. Love? Is that what it was?

That was something he could address another time, for now, he only needed to care about you. He retracted his hand from your hair and moved to press a kiss to your forehead, then settled back against the pillow to wait for you to wake.