Chandler bings twin sister

Episode 5 season 1

"Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal." I say while sitting on chandlers lap in central perk. We made up sorta I was still mad.
"Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?" Ross asks.
"Come on! You guys can pee standing up." Rachel says.
"We can? All right, I'm tryin' that." Chandler says I slap him.
"Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me." Joey says I just look at him.
"Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care." I say. There was a long pause.
"Multiple orgasms!" Ross says.
"So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!"   Me and Chandler say.
"No plans, huh?" Joey asks.
"Not a one." Chandler says while I send daggers at Joey.
"Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?" I ask.
"Oh, right, right, shut up." Chandler tells me.
"Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it." I say.
"No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note." He speaks up.
"Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling." I yell.
"You know, if you want, I'll do it with you." Phoebe says.
"Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her." Chandler says out of nowhere.
"No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony." Phoebe says.
"Tony?" I ask.
"Oh, you're breaking up with Tony?" Chandler asks.
"Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know." She says.
"Does anybody want anything else?" Rachel asks.
"Yeah a coffee really strong." I responded.
"Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. Nothing, just, just, I'm fine." Ross started but Rachel gave him a dirty look.
"What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?" I asked.
"It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible." She says.
"That guy, he burns me up." I carry on laughing which makes Chandler laugh.
"Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady." She says I looked shocked it brought me memories of my farther chandler felt me tense up and brought me closer.
"Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that." I mumble sadly almost crying.
"Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again?" Monica asked changing the subject.
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own"." Rachel answers.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh." I reply humming.
Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters. Which I know is Joeys ex.
"Hi, Joey." She says walking past.
"My god, Angela." I responded for Joey.
Angela takes a seat at the counter.
"Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her." I carry on.
"Are you gonna go over there?" Monica asks.
"No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool." He stats then leaves "Hey, Angela." We hear him say. I was to busy trying not to cry.
Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince me to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook me up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.
"Alex, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you." Joey carry's on.
"Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet." I start  Chandler bursts out laughing. He looked at Joey funny.
"Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is..." joey starts.
"Oh, god help us." I start looking out the window.
"What?" Chandler asks jumping up.
"Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!" I carry on.
"Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me." Joey tries to convince me.
"What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls. Who are you and what have you done with my friend Joey." I answer Chandler laughs from the couch even though nothing was on the tv.
"I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?" Joey pleads I finally give in.
A fancy restaurant, me and Joey are there, meeting Angela and Bob.
"Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?" I ask.
"Yep." Joey just answers me.
"Which?" I question.
"Which what?" Joey asked puzzled.
"You've never met Bob, have you?" I asked.
"No, but he's..." joey starts.
"Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly..." i start then Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.
"Hey, Joey." Angela starts.
"...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now." I carry on shutting up.
We were still at the fancy restaurant, me, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.
"He is so cute. So, where did you guys grow up?" I said the first part to joey.
"Brooklyn Heights." Angela starts.
"Cleveland."
"How, how did that happen?"i asked.
" Oh my god." Joey speaks up.
" What?" I asked worried.
"I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not." Joey decides to say. "So, you and Angela, huh?"
"Yep. Pretty much." Bob speaks up.
"You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel." Joey says.
"Huh, I never really noticed." Bob says.
"Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it." Joey says I just get up.
"Alex, Alex is great." Bob says when I'm almost gone but I was still in earshot.
"Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually." Joey says I just face plam and walk to the restroom.
"I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific." I speak up.
"Yeah, isn't he?" Angela says.
" It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight." I say.
"You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed." She answers.
"Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity." I say mentoring chandler.
"Huh. That's nice." She answers. The fancy restaurant still, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and I'm   very uncomfortable.
"Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?" I ask. Me and Joey walk away from the table.
"Oh my god." I carry on.
"What?" Joey asks worried this time.
"Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia." I respond.
"Come on, they're close." Joey answers.
"Close? She's got her tongue in his ear. Do you see me with my tongue in Chandlers ear and we are the definition of close." I answer.
" Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Chandler." Joey answers.
"Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's—not really true, is it?" I ask.
"Well, who's to say what's true? I mean..." Joey starts.
"Oh my god, what were you thinking?" I butt in.
"All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little." Joey speaks up.
"Oh!" I say hitting him hard.
"Ow!" Joey exclaimed.
" I'm outta here." I say almost leaving.
"Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you." Joey speaks up I don't believe him not again.
"Really?" I ask.
"Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up." Joey speaks up again.
Time lapse, I  accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.
"I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story." I reply. Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob about.
"Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here." Joey asks.
At Monicas laundry room.
"Hi." I start in a mood with joey.
" Hey, how'd it go?" Phoebe asks I just shake my head saying I heated it.
"Excellent." Joey speaks up.
"We ripped that couple apart, and he kept Angela for himself Bob hated me well fuck him." I answer.
"What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way." Ross says. I notices his head.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Monica says.
"Where's Chandler? Did he fall into a pit and dying if he is tell me where this hole is I wanna join him." I ask.
"Oh, he needed some time to grieve." Phoebe answers.
"Well I just split a couple up and I still don't have a date and I never will and hes sad about Janice wow." I answer sulking. Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.
"I'm free! I'm free!" Chandler yells.
"And I'm related to that. I swear I'm the only innocent twin that didn't come out like that." I answer pointing to where chandler was.
"That oughta do it." Phoebe answer ignoring me.
"And ignore me the nice good less sarcastic sibling do you all hate me because I'm not chandler." I yell.
"It's not that Alex. He's just broken up with someone." Monica says.
"What the hell I was getting married to a gay person Ross married a lesbian no offence Ross. And you don't see me and him like that. We are grieving more then him I loved him to bits but no one talks about that they think about chandler more since hes broken up with the most annoying person in the world." I yell walking out.