Chandler bings twin sister

Episode 8 season 1

Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.
"...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?" Chandler asks.
"Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be..." Rachel speaks up.
"You did?"Chandler asks.
"Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not." Rachel carried on I just laughed.
"Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?" Chandler asks
"I did." Monica admitted.
"Yeah, I think so, yeah." Phoebe also admitted.
"Not me." Me and joey answered.
"Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did." Ross answered.
"You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?" Chandler asks. I knew the answer.
"No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so..." Ross carried on. Alex congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stop.
"Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?" Chandler asked.
"I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny..." Phoebe starts.
"Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?" I ask.
"Yeah! Right!" Every one but me chandler and Ross answer.
"WHAT IS IT?!" Chandler asks.
"Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality." Monica answered.
"It can't be worse then liking someone who liked your best friend." Joey speaks up.
"Who did you like that likes someone else?" I asked.
"It hasn't happened to me but it's happening to one of my best friends right now." Joey answered.
"Joey tell me now I know your on about me." I demanded.
"Paolo likes Rachel he said something itailian about the stars and Rachel." Joey admitted. I just sulked into my seat.
"You believe him?" Chandler asks.
"Joey wouldn't lie to me at all. Thanks for telling me Joey can we go back to what Chandler said." I answered.
"Yes. Absolutely. A quality." Everyone yelled at chandler.
"Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this." Chandler complains. Phone rings; Monica gets it.
"Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome." Monica said to Rachel.
"Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio." Rachel started I just sat down in the kitchen drinking a coffee.
"(to Ross) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome. Your making the girl you first met jealous." I heared Joey complain.
"Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome." Rachel started all happy.
"Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross Alex, it's Nana."Monica yelled. The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross Alex and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.
"So, uh, how's she doing?" I asked.
"The doctor says it's a matter of hours." Aunt Lillian answered.
"How-how are you, Mom?" Monica asked.
"Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?" Judy asked.
"What?" Monica asked.
"What's different?" Judy spoke up.
"Nothing." Monica answered.
"Oh, maybe that's it." I answered along with Judy. Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.
"She is unbelievable, our mother is..." Monica started complaining.
"Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover." I answered walking up to them.
"Oh God!" She answered. We hug. Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.
"The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse." I started.
"Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants." Ross replied.
"Not just restaurants, from our house."  Jack answered. The nurse comes out of Nana's room.
"Mrs. Geller?" The nurse asked. Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross Alex and Monica in Nana's room.
"She looks so small." I started.
"I know." Monica answered.
"Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now." I said looking up at the second set of siblings I got to call family.
"G'bye, Nana." Monica said. She kisses her on the forehead.
Ross: Bye, Nana." Me and Ross answered. He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room. I just stood there shocked that Nanna was alive.
"Ross Alex! Monica yells me and Ross runs out too.
"What is going on?!" Judy asked.
"Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite.." I tried to explain.
"What?" Judy asked again.
"She's not- past, she's present, she's back." Ross answered for me.
"(reentering) What's going on?" Aunt Lillian asked.
"She may have died." Jack answered.
"She may have died?" She asked again.
"We're looking into it." Jack answered. Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.
"I, uh, I'll go see." Ross started. He goes in and drags me with him.
"This almost never happens!" The nurse states. Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross Alex and Monica go to tell the family.
"Now she's passed." I started. Alex Monica and Ross enter central perk.
"So, um, did she..." Rachel tried to ask.
"Twice." I answered walking to joey.
"Twice?" Joey asked.
"Oh, that sucks!" Phoebe speaks up.
"You guys okay?" Joey asked us.
"I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel, uh..." I tried to explain.
"Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone." Phoebe speaks.
"Nono, she's gone." Ross said,
"We checked. A lot." Me and Monica answer.
"Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her." Phoebe speaks up.
"Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this?" I speak up I gave her a pencil.
"Thanks!" Phoebe thanks me.
"Sure. I just sharpened her this morning." I answered.
"Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?" Joey starts.
"Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie." Phoebe goes on hands me back the pencil. Nana's house, Ross, Alex, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.
"I thought it was gonna be a closed casket." I stated.
"Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!" Judy answered. We open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers.
"Sweetie, you think you can get in there?" She asked me and Ross.
"(sarcastic) I don't see why not." Ross answered. We try pushing against the chest of drawers. Then we opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.
"Here's my retainer!" Ross yelled I just climbed to where he was. Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.
"(holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?" I asked.
"No." Aunt  Lillian responded.
"We have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy." Ross answered.
"You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one." Aunt Lillian speaks up.
"You're right. We'll go with the burgundy." Judy responded.
"Oh! A fine choice. We're coming out." I responded we started to climb over the furniture.
"Wait! We need shoes!" Aunt Lillian complained. Me and Ross falls back inside..
"Okay. Um, how about these?" Ross asks holds out a pair whilie I'm still looking.
"That's really a day shoe." Judy answered.
"And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?" Ross asked.
"Could we see something in a slimmer heel?" Aunt Lillian answered.
"(forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work." I replied.
"No, it really should be burgundy." Aunt Lillian replied.
"Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?" Judy answered I groaned.
"No! Nonono, wait a sec. We may have something in the back." Me and Ross complain. I find a shoebox, pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.
"Oh my God.." I start.
"Is everything all right, dear?" Judy asked.
"Yeah, just... just Nana stuff." I replied. I reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n'Lo's rain down on me. Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.
"(entering) How we doing, you guys ready?" I asked walking in with Ross.
"Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?" Monica asked.
"Some days it's all I can think about." I answered.
"(entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings." Phoebe starts.
"Oh, you-you mean your earrings?" I asked.
"What'd I say?" Phoebe asked looking confused.
"(sticking her foot out) Hm-m." Rachel answered.
"Are these the shoes?" Monica asked.
"Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy." Rachel starts I just roll my eyes.
"What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?" I started.
"(entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go?" Joey asked.
"Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?" Chandler asked. We all leave. The cemetary, after the funeral.
"It was a really beautiful service." I started.
"It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs me) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream." Judy started. Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices me and  Chandler watching.
"What?" I heared Joey ask us after I walked away from Judy.
"Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger." I answered.
"Check it out, Giants-Cowboys." Joey answered. He has a pocket TV.
"You're watching a football game at a funeral?" I asked.
"No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception." He answered.
"You are a frightening, frightening man." Chandler answers. Rachel steps in a patch of mud.
"Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!" Rachel complains.
" Oh, I hope they're not ruined." I shout.
"God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!" Phoebe speaks up.
"I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff" Ross starts. Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave.
"God! Ross!" We all yell.
"I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised..." Ross complains. The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.
"Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh." Phoebe starts whilie I was sitting with them rosses feet on my lap.
"What, what is it?" Ross asked.
"You missed a belt loop." Phoebe answered.
"Oh! No-n" Ross try's to explain.
"Okay, it's in spasm." Phoebe answered.
" Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident." Judy starts. She hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears. Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned.
"Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?" I asked.
"I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great." Ross replied.
"Wow, those pills really worked, huh?" I asked.
"Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs..." Ross starts. Hugs her.
"Ooh! That's so nice..." Phoebe answered.
"...Chandler Alex!" Ross yelled to us.
"Hey." I started.
"(hugs us) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me. Alex your very pretty." Ross says stoned.
"Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most." Ross started.
"(humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?" Rachel asked.
"No." Ross answered.
"You!" Rachel replied.
"Oh.. you don't get it!" Ross answered. Passes out and slumps across her. Joey and Alex watching TV in the corner. They makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.
"Whaddya got there?" Jack asked.
"(hides the TV, but we still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability." I answered.
"What's the score?" Jack asked.
"Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third." Joey responded.
"Beautiful!" Jack answered.Turns to watch with him. A large crowd of men are now watching the game.
"(reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you." Judy started
"Thank you. They're yours." Monica answered. I was still in earshot but I was watching the game.
"Actually they were Nana's." Judy answered.There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men and me.
"Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was." I answered. Central Perk, we all are looking at old photos.
"Hey, who's this little naked guy?" Rachel asked.
"That little naked guy would be me." Ross admitted.
"Aww, look at the little thing. Even though I've seen my fair shear of pictures with it in." I answered.
"Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?" Ross asked.
"Who are those people?" Chandler asked.
"Got me." I answered.
"Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'." Ross started.
"Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?" Joey asked.
"Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?" I answered.
"Looks like a fun gang." Ross answer. We all look at each other and smile.
"Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!" Joey speaks up.
"(looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something." Ross answered