oh worm? || bnha x reader

38. hawks

disclaimer: please don't drink shampoo my dear children

(xxx-xxx-xxxx changed chats)

(xxx-xxx-xxxx is now chatting with random stranger)

xxx-xxx-xxxx:
david i swear to god if you don't keep that rabies squirrel in your yard i will call cps to take your daughter away before that rabid thing bites her

don't you remember what we said about the alligators?

same thing goes for the squirrels and hamsters

random stranger:
listen bethany i don't know what happened to the alligators

it was certainly not my fault they ran off and it wasn't my fault either when the hamster got ran over

(xxx-xxx-xxxx changed random stranger's name to david)

(david changed xxx-xxx-xxxx's name to bethany)

bethany:
david i'm not going to tell you again

keep your damn rabid squirrel away from me

david:
the squirrel isn't even rabid bethany!!

bethany:
that's it i'm calling the police

david:
you can't!!

i have a daughter to take care of!!

bethany:
then i'll call cps to take her somewhere safer!!

you are putting her in danger by keeping that stupid thing in your house!!

david:
BETHANY YOU CANT

bethany:
I CAN AND I WILL DAVID

david:
BETHANY PLEASE

bethany:
I SWEAR I WILL PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE IF IT'S NOT GONE BY TOMORROW

david:
YOU CANT

CARLA AND REBECCA LOVE IT

bethany:
I DONT CARE IF YOUR STUPID WIFE AND DAUGHTER LOVE IT OR NOT, I HATE IT SO YOU BETTER GET RID OF IT

THE MANAGER OF THE BUILDING SAID NO MORE RABID ANIMALS

ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE MONKEY

david:
BETHANY HOW THE HELL IS IT MY FAULT THAT THE MONKEY RIPPED THAT GIRL'S FACE OFF

bethany:
IT'S YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU KEPT IT IN YOUR HOUSE

DON'T MAKE ME MICROWAVE YOUR SQUIRREL DAVID

JUST LIKE I DID WITH YOUR CRAZY ASS DOG

david:
you did what with my dog

bethany:
CARLA HATED THAT DOG TOO

SHE GAVE IT TO ME AND SAID "ROAST THE DAMN THING, BETHANY"

david:
...

SHE SAID IT RAN AWAY

bethany:
🤭

she didn't tell you??