Calamity

tell

"I'm gonna go over to Alyssa's and tell her. Cause it'd be awful if she found out herself."

"Okay. Good luck."

I then left and drive over to Alyssa's. I knocked on the door. Alyssa opened up and hugged me.

"I was just about to come over. What happened last night?" She asked. I moved away from her.

"Alyssa... We need to talk." I sighed. She seemed worried. We sat on the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just gonna come out and say it... But I'm breaking up with you."

"What!? Why!?"

"Because I'm gay. I've been telling myself for a long time that I'm bisexual. I've been trying to make myself bisexual since freshman year by sleeping with a bunch of girls. Then finally after a few boyfriends, I got a girlfriend; you. But in the long run, I'm gay. Being with girls... Just doesn't do it for me."

"But what about the baby?"

"I still want to be in the baby's life. More than ever. But if we're together then it'll be no fun for anyone. We'll be unhappy, and that'll make our child unhappy too. And we can't have that happen."

"Okay. Well I'm happy you told me. Not so happy this is happening. But happy you told me."

"Thank you for understanding."

After talking about the baby for a few minutes I left. That went a lot better than expected. I decided to go over to my mama's house. I knocked on the door.

"Hey sweetie! What do ya need!?" She greeted.

"I need to talk to you about something." I said.

We went and sat on the couch. I think I've sat on more couches today than any other day. Holy shit.

"Abby told me about what happened at school. Did you get your job back yet?"

"Yeah, I did. But that's not what I'm here to talk about."

"Oh no. Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"Will you let me finish?" I began to get the really stressed out. "No, nothing's wrong with the baby. But Alyssa and I are no longer together." She hit me across the face.

"What is wrong with you!? You're becoming just like your father! Leaving because he doesn't want responsibility!" I jumped up.

"It's nothing like that! Goddammit! This is why I hate talking to you! You always assume shit!" I hissed. "I'm still gonna be part of the baby's life!" She stood up too.

"Then why would you leave her?!"

"Because I'm gay! I'm not bisexual! I'm gay!"

"You really need Jesus."

She grabbed the bible off of the coffee table and handed it to me.

"No! You can't keep forcing your religious shit on me!" I declared as I threw the bible on the ground. "I hate religion! I always have! And the fact that I tell you that I'm gay, and you give me a bible makes me hate it even more! There's so much evidence that God isn't real!"

"You're a disappointing to the whole family! Get out of my house!"

I stomped out. I was furious. Enraged. I drove home and went straight to my room.

I felt like punching a hole in my wall. But I knew I couldn't. So I did what I usually do whenever I'm like this.

Play music until I calm down. I went downstairs to my music room. This time I chose the guitar. I play many instruments. Guitar is just one.

I decided to start playing Motörhead. They're a good band to get your anger out by playing.