50 shades of sebastian stan

Part 18: alone

I stay sat on the counter and i take 2 shots straight away, i am not drunk enough for this.

After a good 2 minutes of silence, he finally speaks

"How can you still look so perfect with no makeup on and just wearing a hoodie" he says in such a low growl i can barely hear but also in such a dominant way im ready to get on my knees.

"I'm guessing someones missed being woke up to head?" I chuckle
"New assistant is strictly an assistant.. i haven't had sex since the last time we did it... you?"
"You fucked me in the head everyday for 2 months when u said we'd be friends but in reality you didn't give a shit, forgot me and replaced me. Not even a 'hey, how you been' text. So yeah last time i was fucked was last night" i said it. I fucking said it and now. Now i feel like i'm gonna be sick... no no no not infront of sebastian no!

I manage to contain my illness and i notice he's just sat there staring at me.

"I.. um wow okay... i'm sorry i didn't text, i meant to but I couldn't bring myself to do it... tom kept saying how good you were doing without me and i had gone the total other way.. i was jealous of you and didn't have the courage to even talk to you. I'm so sorry i didn't mean to hurt you like that.."

He genuinely look sincere and so my next words made sense at that point

"Sebastian, even if i wanted to work for you again and you wanted me back, it'd be against your rules and agreements... i'm sorry but i fell for you, your stupid temper tantrum's, the showers, the movie nights, the guys nights in, some extravigant party, going to set everyday and watching you do things you love with the people you call family... that's the guy i fell for, you hate the dimples in your arse cheeks but they're so cute, you hate that you have to play a broken character on screen because it relates to you, so personally that it actually hurts you to act like that when in reality its your real feelings... but you also get a relief from it as you can be yourself... you think you have so many flaws but in reality your perfect through and through in your own way. So i fell for you and thats why i can't work for you again... so-"

He wraps his arms around my body and brings me in for a cuddle...

I hear everyone else come in and I quickly push sebastian away and he gets it.

"Okay who threw it best?" I ask
"Definately chris" tom laughs
"Nah me" anthony sighs
"Nope me" chris laughs
"2 against one bird man, america wins" sebastian laughs

For about an hour we just talk about how imma join them on set a whole lot more and come chill during the day when i have off, peter and anthony take themselves off to a spare room, chris takes another and sebastian goes on the couch, chris is knocked out immediately, then anthony then tom, i finally get into bed and i just cant sleep, i go to the kitchen to get some water, i see seb tossing and turning on the couch... poor guy.

I walk over to him and tap his shoulder

"Hey sebby"
He just groans
"Seb" i shake him
He just groans louder and turns over
"Sebastian!" I shout in his ear
He startles awake and glares at me
"Y-you looked so uncomftable i wanted to ask if you wanted to share my room, my beds alot more comfy than this and i dont mind sharing, your dick has been in me before so yeah. Dont mind it"

He just looks at me sleepily and in a gorgeous soft sleepy voice he agrees to come to my room and sleep, as soon as we get into my room, he takes off his jeans and shirt and gets into my bed, he takes my corner.

"No move thats my corner. Out. Now" i try and shove him
"Make me" he smirks
"Your too heavy for me to make you!" I groan still tryna push him off
"Damn calling me fat i see how it is" he turns away from me
"I didn't mean it like that" i frown "your just so muscly and thicc, it's a good thing" i smile cuddling him from behind.
He lets out a deep sigh and then pulls me over his body and into my spot, he then makes me the little spoon, i smile and cuddle into his bare chest

"Sebastian?"
"Y/n?"
"A-about what i said.. y-you don't have to l-like me back but i just wanna know.. if there's any chance of this happening..."
"Y/n.. obviously your attractive, smart, amazing and so generous... but i dont know... your amazing in bed, your perfect for wife material... but i can't commit, i'm too scared, i've never done that, my dad left me at 2 then my mum left at 13, i've been alone my whole life, job to job, it's not the life i wanted and so i changed it. But i don't know how to love someone when i'm so clearly broken"

For a moment i realise this man is not who he portrays... he just needs help

"Hey listen to me... i've never done anything or felt like this before.. it's strange and new and we can figure it out together... we don't have to tell anyone incase it goes to shit and we don't want the awkwardness... we can learn with each other and maybe.. just maybe fix each other... i have faith in you okay sebastian stan"
"Your one hell of a woman y/n y/l/n" he says with a big smile on his face... i slowly kiss his lips in a teasing way, as he went in for more i pulled away. He groaned and i just cuddled closed.

"Goodnight maybe boyfriend" i giggle
"Goodnight doll" he smiles and kisses my head

Authours note
Ahhhhhh its bare cute🥰sooo imma add more tea duh coz we need to atleast attend the endgame premier and match her date... who should it be? Chris? Tom? Sebastian? Someone new.

!!!!!Please please please leave comments on how to improve on please!!!!!