Bittersweet - Bubbline AU

Chapter Twenty One - Where You Can See Me

I'm EXTREMELY excited about this sksksksks chapter

Let's go to the chapter.  Please don't lose your head :)

Good reading!  xoxo

-----------------------------*-----------------------------

She randomly strummed the bass in her lap, pulling out disconnected chords, the flood of words coming out of her lips with such truth that it was as if she had a naked soul.

But that's okay, because he wasn't going to remember half of that conversation after his afternoon nap.

"And that's it, Simon. I think I'm in love with her. I'm really fucked up."

"Vocabulary, little lady!"

"Sorry, Simon."

The man poured some of the coffee Daisy had left for them in a thermos on the coffee table, offering Marceline a mug. Then he helped himself and sat down again, facing her. He was attentive to her talking.

"What am I gonna do now?"

"Ask the girl to be your girlfriend?"

"I can't just do that" - muttered Marceline, before sipping from her mug. She looked kind of sulky.

"And why not?" - said the man, looking genuinely confused.

"Because... because I can't. I just can't" - she said, looking at the hot liquid in her hands. She moved on the couch, restless. Afflicted.

"What are you so afraid of?"

The girl found herself smiling to herself. Simon might not be fully aware of who she was, but deep down in his subconscious, he still knew her very well.

"I'm afraid of losing her too."

The two were silent for a moment. The man looked thoughtful, immersed in himself. He did this often, and Marceline was already used to just letting him go back to the real world on his own.

"What is it that you missed that makes you so scared, my dear?"

"My family. I'm adopted, remember?" -  she asked, holding the man's hand.  He looked at her blankly for a moment. Then her eyes widened at the memory, nodding quickly. Marceline couldn't help but giggle at the scene. "Yes, I told you about it. My mother died in immigration and my father had to give up on me so I wouldn't starve. And my first adoptive father... He was unable to finish to raise me. I already lost a lot, Simon."

"So you're going to live an empty life just so you don't have to deal with losses?"

It hit her like a blow. She was silent, looking at the man with a surprised and confused expression. Simon poured himself more coffee while he shook his head.

"Oh, silly girl" - he said, but his tone was as sweet as ever. "Do you think that isolating yourself will stop you from losing things? It won't. At one time or another, your life will change course and you won't have the things you have today. I lose my memories, every day. Today Daisy asked me where I left the snow boots I used on yesterday's walk. Damnit, how am I supposed to know? I didn't even remember that I left the house yesterday!"

Marceline laughed out loud at the man's comment. She had no idea that he handled memory loss so well.

"I could as well deprive myself of life because of that. But if I did that, I would lose what little I have left" - continued the man.  "I know that Daisy is hiding something from me. I know that something very bad has happened to me to lose my memories, even though I don't remember what. And I think there's a reason why you always come to see me. A young girl full of  life as you would not give up so many days of your own youth to spend time with a forgotten old man, not without a good reason for it. I can lose the sense of reality many times, but when I have this notion, I realize things. And if I’ve already lost so much to the point of having such deep mental trauma, the least I can do is make the most of my life in the way that I have left."