Seeking Serendipity

Kabanata 02

Kabanata 02

Guy

Hindi pa rin nawala ang tingin ng lalaki sa akin. He even waved at me. Dahil don napalingon ang mga magulang niya at yung mga kausap nito. I irratately closed the window.

I don't like them to occupy my bestfriend's condo. I don't like them to be my neighbor. Maybe, they think to me right now that I'm rude but I don't care.

He's so friendly, I hate It.

His beamed is something familiar. And I hate the fact that It reminds me of Sean to him. Pinatay ko na ang tv bago humiga sa upuan. I closed my eyes and rest for a while.

***

"I'm home,"

The santa voice of my father made me woke up. I slowly open my eyes at tiningnan siya. He sincerely smiled at me but I blankly stared at him. I already forgot how to smile and interact properly.

"Good evening, my loving daughter, how's your day?" he asked.

Gawain na ni papa ang magtanong sa amin kung kamusta ang araw namin. I always answered him that I'm having a good or jolly day, but that was before when Sean was still alive. Hindi ko na siya sinagot at alam kong alam niya ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Nasanay na rin naman sila simula nang nawala ang kaibigan ko.

"Ow, U-uh. Tinanong ako ng Dean sa Bee AM University kung doon ka ba mag-aaral? Hindi ko na rin ito sinagot dahil baka ayaw mo. Do you want to study there, anak?" my father said with a kind smile.

My father is the most worried about me. His smile faltered when I frowned. I shook my head.

"I will take another course. I can't do arts anymore," sabi ko.

Mas lalo namang napuno ang pag-aalala at may halo ring pagkadismaya ang mukha ni papa. He slowly nodded, "I understand." aniya.

I don't like them to be worried on me. Sometimes I can't stop blaming myself dahil nadamay pa sila sa pagluluksa ko. I don't want to see their faces in loss because of me.

Tumayo na ako at sumabay na sa kanila sa pagkain. After that, I wash the dishes. My brother, Edhyle is busy answering his assignment. While my parents were watching tv.

Bigla na namang sumagi sa isipan ko ang pagpasok sa Bee Arts and Music University. May kaunting parte sa akin na gustong pumasok sa unibersidad na iyon. Pero sa tuwing iniisip ko na wala na si Sean ay agad akong mawawalan ng gana. If I'm still my usual self, I will be excited and willingly to enroll.

Sean got brain cancer that caused her to die earlier. Matagal na pala niyang tiniis ang sakit niya but she didn't even told me about her condition. I even called myself a useless friend to her. Yung pagkasakit ng ulo niya parati at ang pagkakaiba ng mga mood niya, simula na pala yun sa dinadala niyang sakit. Tinanong ko siya kung bakit palaging sumasakit ulo at ang sagot naman niya ay may 'migraine' siya. Though It was normal for us to have a migraine kaya hindi ako nag-alala. But weeks passed her condition became nastier and got even from worse to worst, until she died.

"Goodnight sweety," my mom said.

My dad also bid his goodnight pati na rin ang kapatid ko. It was eight in the evening when my parents and brother decided to go to their bedroom. Ako na naman ang mag-isa. Kumuha ako ng isang fresh milk sa refrigerator bago napagdesisyunan na umakyat na rin sa kwarto. Pero bago ako nakaapak sa hagdan ay nakarinig ako ng sigaw galing sa labas.

"Tao po!" boses lalaki ang nagsabi.

Who the hell is this?

Bumalik ulit ako sa sala para pagbuksan siya. Sa pagbukas ko agad na lumuwa ang mukha ng lalaking matangkad kanina na kumaway sa akin.

"There's a doorbell dumbass!" I spat at him.

Napakamot naman siya sa ulo, "Hala, englishera." he whispered.

I arched my brow to him, "What are you doing here?" I asked him in a usual tone, controlling my temper.

He beams at me, "I'm doing fine, Aleng......?"

Seriously, Aleng? What the hell is wrong with this guy? And I'm doing fine? Are you high on drugs? But never mind, I'm not in my mood to inflate his stupidness.

"Ano ang sadya mo rito?" malumanay ngunit may bahid na pagkairita kong tanong sa kaniya.

"Ah, may pinabibigay si mama na ulam sa inyo." he said while holding a bowl of food na ngayon ko lang napansin.

"U-uh, ako nga pala si John Laurence del Real," pagpapakilala niya. He offered his right hand for a handshake while his left-hand balances the bowl.

I hate his name. It seems that he's converting my name into a boy.

Tumango lang ako at bigla niyang ikinuha ang kamay niya galing sa ere at napakamot sa batok. Inilahad ulit niya ang dala niyang bowl at malugod ko itong tinanggap.

"Salamat," tugon ko at isinarado na ang pinto.

"WELCOME ALENG!" sigaw niya pa galing sa labas.

Iritado akong naglakad papunta sa kusina at ipinasok ang ulam sa ref. Pagkatapos non ay pumasok na ako sa silid at pabagsak na humiga sa kama. I splayed my both arms in my bed as I stare at my ceiling. Galaxies.

I painted the galaxies on my ceiling. Parehas kami ni Sean ng bubong, though she's the original painter and I'm a girl who loves to copy her works. Sean once said that if I'm going to paint these galaxies I'm not going to be alone when she's not around because the galaxy is her. Everything before was so nostalgic but why do I feel too much emptiness right now?

Muli na naman akong napaluha dahil naalala ko naman ang kaibigan ko. I don't know how to forget all the memories with her. I don't know how to move on from this grief. I don't know how people can move on from everything they lost.

Sean Hustler, please be back.