COTE Fanfic(lol)

A Childhood Friend I Never Met. Part 5 [Tears]

Kei POV

After Kiyotaka left the room, an akward silence surrounded us as I could see the figure of Sakayanagi silently staring at me. Though I couldn't make out her expression for some reason, I didn't seem to care since all my concentration was on something else.

Don't cry...

"When a person loses something they love, the feeling of pain manifests within them. The deeper the love the greater the pain."

Don't hurt...

"As I'm sure you know, Kiyotaka is someone intellegent, strong, and reliable, with looks that could be considered one of the best in our year. It wouldn't be wierd for you to have developed feelings of infatuation for him considering your knowledge."

Don't show weakness...

She paused briefly before speaking again. Her voice was low and gave the impression as if she knew everything.

"... But from the pain you appear to be experiencing, your feelings for him go beyond simple infatuation don't they?"

Don't...

Hearing these words, I finally realized that my act had long since broken as I could feel streams of tears on my face. I struggled to contain my sobs while I tried desperately to regain composure.

"I've always been good at reading people, in fact, you could even call it a gift which I was blessed with. But I'm sure that even without it, I could still tell just how much he meant to you."

"..."

"Your reaction when he confirmed your question. Your face that contorted in pain when you heard your name mentioned. And the countless tears that seem to contain the depth of your feelings."

I averted my gaze from her violet eyes that pierced through me. Being told what I felt was something I didn't usually enjoy, in truth, I hated when people did that. But at this moment, I couldn't deny her words as they stabbed me deeper than a knife.

I've felt my fair share of pain despite my short life up to now. Having my hair pulled, being kicked, slapped, punched, and tormented repeatedly every single day were things I had all experienced before as a victim of bullying. But even so-

"It hurts..."

The pain I felt now was far greater than anything I've come to know.
It hurt more than the attacks I would receive when no one was watching.
It hurt more than the insults people yelled at me.
And I could even say that it hurt more than the darkness inducing-incident that overtook and imprisoned me to a life without freedom. The incident that gave me my scar.

How could it not?
After all, he was the one that saved me.

"I don't usually give warnings to people, but I'll be making an exception this time. Forget about Kiyotaka."

Compared to her previous words which were carried by a lighter and almost consoling tone, these had not the slightest ounce of care or sympathy. In fact, it reminded me a lot of the words I heard during my first meeting with the real Kiyotaka on the cruise; cold and ominous. Words that seemed to threaten me and blended into the darkness of the ship that day.

I want to leave...

I want to go to a place where no one could see me cry.
A place where I could try to do the impossible and attempt to forget about this...

"You seem to be in a lot of pain. Perhaps I should just sever your connection all together? It would also save me the trouble of having to constantly deal with you."