A Day With Tom

Meeting

It's Monday morning when a thunder rips the sky open and rain ambushes New York City. There is so much rain outside it feels like the universe is warning people to stay inside.

God, I wish I could heed this particular warning.

Not sure though, which one is worse: going outside in the rain and being miserable at work or staying home and being anxious on the couch.

With a deep sigh, I get out of bed and drag my feet to the shower.

The shower feels like one of the few safe spaces these days. Warm and full of possibilities.

I am listening to music on my Google Home and pretending everything is ok. I am pretending that we are not in a pandemic, that I am not terrified of losing my job (which I hate — making my life even more ironic), that I am not tired of 2020, and also that I am not lonely. Lonely is the wrong term. On my own? 2020 has made me acutely aware of fake personal relationships. At the beginning of quarantine, I cleaned my apartment and along with that I also let go of people in my life that just didn't feel right.

What I didn't realize is that now, 6 months post my very ambitious cleanup, I find myself with no new clothes or friends.

I have my family and my best friend but sometimes I wish I had more people in my life. I have come to replace that emptiness with TikTok. I watch funny and sad videos of people coming together or breaking up, and fill my need for human connection with TikTok couples, families, and friends. I don't really post on the app myself — too self-aware and awkward — but have accounts I keep close to my heart.

One of them, like millions of people on TikTok, is @t22felton. Tom Felton, the gorgeous actor who plays Draco in the super successful franchise Harry Potter.

#DracoTok to #TomTok is full of videos praising him, his acting, his music, offering alternative endings to his movies, and imagining alternate realities where he is part of people's lives. It's entertaining and has made me care for this one celebrity more than I am willing to publicly admit.

I am 30 and kinda in love with a celebrity on social media. I would die of mortification if anyone really knew. But I console myself that everyone needs serotonin from somewhere and my source just happens to be Tom Felton's social media.

I spend more time on his videos than on anything else. Old interviews and press conferences are my happy place. He seems like a genuinely nice person. Kind, warm, and funny. As far as I can discern from his videos there is no Draco-evilness in him.

So true to form, I spend my morning commute on this miserable Monday watching TikTok and of course a majority of them involve #TomTok. When I finally reach my subway stop I make sure to pop in the corner coffee shop for some needed caffeine without which I would not be able to start my day. I pay for my coffee and wait for it to be ready while scrolling away. From the corner of my eye, I see two teenagers close to the door pointing to this guy in the back corner. I can't see his face, it's covered by a mask. But I can see he is wearing light grey jeans, a long t-shirt and a white hoodie on top. He has a pink hat and dirty blonde hair. Nothing unusual about him. I look back at the girls and one of them says: "I am telling you it's him! Let's go ask!"

I then look back at the guy who has put his phone in his pocket and definitely took notice of the girls. He pulls his hoodie over his hat and I see a glimpse of his eyes. For a second I think they look extra blue, like Tom Felton's, but come on, what are the chances?

The barista, Suzie, is moving incredibly slow and I can tell that he is anxious to leave. I move closer to Suzie because I, too, want to leave. I am uncomfortable and not sure how to handle it if it is him. Better to never find out.