A Day With Tom

Thank TikTok

Days pass me by and life seems to be going back to normal. Whatever that means now. I am deep in my "pretend I never met Tom Felton" phase by the time I realize that months have now passed since that one day.

I have been using my time to get to know myself through the book. Answering all the questions as fair and as truthfully as I can. I go through a bunch of small realizations and 'aha' moments. I realize I am too hard on myself and I need to let go. I realize that I have a hard time accepting that good-things would happen to me. I start feeling a little bit more deserving every day and feel better about myself. I realize that my job is no longer making me happy so I slowly start looking for a new one. I am one by one taking small actions to improve my life. 

It's almost been one year since I hung out with Tom and I feel alright about it. Not raw, or regretful about the what-ifs. Mostly happy that it happened. This convinces me it's time to revisit the whole experience by telling my best friend about it.

I invite her over for drinks and dinner and lay it all on her. Every single small detail and to her credit she doesn't interrupt me once. 

When I am done with the entire story she looks dumbfounded.

"Alice?" I ask, worried about her lack of reaction.

"Ok, first of all, let me just say that I did not expect this. HOLY SHIT CHARLI!!! This was amazing, like some movie plot. I can't believe it! I also CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T SAY ONE SINGLE THING FOR ALMOST ONE YEAR!"

"I am sorry."

"No, I am sorry. That must have been hard. But I get it, I think. As much as I can wrap my mind around something like this."

"Yea, I wasn't hiding it from you. I think I was mostly hiding it from myself. But now I think it's a lovely story and I can share it."

She smiles, "So you have been working on answering the questions?"

"Yes, it honestly was the perfect gift."

"It sure was. Did you ever send him his book?"

"What?"

"Well, you said you got him a book too. Did you send it?"

"No! Of course not, where would I send it? Also, I wouldn't call him just for sending him a book," I say a little too defensively. 

"You could send it to like a fan mailbox or something?"

I give her an incredulous look, "You think it will actually get to him?"

"Does it matter? You will send it and you can move on from this. If that is what you truly want that is..."

Alice does have a point. After obsessively thinking about it overnight, by morning time, I have decided I will send it to the address posted on his website. 

I finish getting ready for work and sit down trying to figure out what I will write in the note to Tom. I close my eyes and let myself remember. Remember how my skin prickled with excitement when he hugged me in the coffee shop. "Hiiii...darling," he said and my heart jumped in my neck. I let myself remember the banter back on forth over the silliest questions. How it felt when he hugged me after I went on a, little too personal, rant about his life. How safe it felt engulfed in his arms. I let myself remember how scared he looked after I rescued Peaches and how he kissed the top of my head to comfort me. I let myself remember how my top lip felt being grazed by his lips and how his breath tickled my bottom lip for what seemed like ages before we kissed and my world changed. How after being mugged and scared to death he still managed to make me feel like a princess by creating the most magical night. I remember New York City night lights and feeling like we were the only two people in the world.