Do You Know Who She Is? d.m

Chapter Twelve

OK SO! I made a Spotify playlist to go with my story it features the songs played and also general vibes of scenes/characters. It is what I listen to when writing I thought some of you may be interested if you relate to music as much as me! The link to the playlist is in the bio bit of my profile. Thanks!!

Lilith's p.o.v

The train home from Hogwarts was fine. I isolated myself with Lois she has not stopped talking about the party on Saturday. All's I did on Sunday was sleep. The drugs made it impossible to eat anything and the come down was like being stuck in a literal black hole. I didn't mind though. I had a break though.

There wasn't much I remembered about the night. Lois did a fairly good job of filling in my large blanks. The only things I remembered on my own was Malfoy. He was burned into my brain. But don't think it had anything to do with him as a person.

I mean sure yes I do think he is handsome it is obvious that every girl does. But I'm sure I can recreate feeling with someone else. Surely. I mean I never felt anything with Rueben or Nott but I was high. It will come. I've had a break through I'm not concerned. Malfoy is still a dick and I'm feeling slightly more myself.

One thing I was not looking forward to was going home to my father. Seeing him is like forcing myself to look at parts I bury. He has watched me grow and he does not let me forget.

'Are you going to write over Christmas Lily?' Lois looked at me expectantly. She was really becoming someone I could get used to.

'I'll try.' It was an honest answer, I never felt like lying to her it just wasn't worth it.

'Okay can I write to you?'

'Of course you can. I'd like that Lois.' I smiled at her and dove into the pile of sweets and chocolate from the cart. I'd not eaten properly in two days.

If you were to listen or even look at me and Lois you would think we were a strange duo. Especially when I had my pink hair. She was slightly smaller than me with round features. I was more angular with sharp features. We barely spoke, no more than small simple sentences.

But it was nice, I think she knows I'm not used to having company like this. We both found comfort in the time and mostly silence we spent together. The things we missed in ourselves we found in each other.

.

Stepping off the Hogwarts express was a slap of reality. I felt sick with the thought of who I was when I first stepped on this train. The only time I have felt like myself recently was... well it was Saturday, pressed against a window... I need to stop thinking about it.

His hands tight on my wrists, breath on my neck.

God no physical reaction at all for months and now I'm thinking about Malfoy in the back of this obscenely shiny car being driven home by one of the unnamed drivers of the Goldfinch family.

My tights were very uncomfortable. I need to get them off and go for a swim. Oh and avoid my father at all costs.

Apparently Lady Tyche was not on my fucking side today.

Good old Father Samael Mephisto Goldfinch. The patriarchy in a family that has been run by the most powerful matriarchs in the wizarding world. How ironic.

He was stood in the driveway of the largest house, castle, mansion, estate whatever you would like to call this huge place I call home. The palace of Versailles was modelled on the Goldfinch estate. So fucking pretentious.

The driver opened my door and three house elves scurried past my father to open the boot of the car and collect my things.

'Lilith, I see you're back to the blonde my mother gave you. It suits you better than that ghastly pink.'