French Rose

Chapter 2

I battled a lot of insecurities when I was younger.

There was always this thing about looking at the mirror and just feeling incomplete. It wasn't just limited to staring at myself alone, just looking at someone else made me feel inferior. It could just be simply walking down the hallway or taking a glance at the type of life I wanted, one that was far above my reach. I had certain standards I wanted to meet and there were shapes I wanted myself to morph into as a teenager. I watched a lot of videos and did a lot of things and of course, it didn't work. Why? Cause my type of Insecurities isn't just about the way I looked.

Freedom, memories I was meant to make as a teenager, things normal for others but bad for me, those were the type of things i looked at the most. It went on to affect the way I spoke to people. There were many people that tagged me as proud and there were many that still liked me even with that type of reputation. Simlly beause I had a family that already built a legacy so everyone in school knew who I was. That, however, didn't change the fact that I wasn't completely happy. Things happened and I ended up just being that girl at the back of the class that doesn't talk to anyone. There were times my parents got invited to the school and they were even advices to take me to the hospital once.

It's funny how it's all gone at the end. Yes, I wasn't what society calls perfect but society is just a bunch of rules someone came up with. I wouldn't live my life confined to it. It took a lot to realise that and after years of it, I only looked at myself as small. Just small and beautiful.

"Are you going to keep staring at the mirror or would we leave for dinner?"

"I actually told the chef to make me a meal so sorry but I have to cancel. Besides, aren't you tired from all you ate earlier?"

"You're judging"

"Whatever, I just need to pick out something to wear. They're only a few PJs in here, it'll barely last me a week"

"Well, you can always get some more if you like."

"And why are there all frog patterned?"

"To match your new friend, I came up with the idea and you're welcome"

That was the fifth time she brought up the stuffed frog that night. Honestly, if it wasn't that they were enforcing it on me, I could've actually given it a chance but now seeing and hearing it again almost made my blood boil. I took it from her hand and shoved it far under the bed. Hopefully never to be seen again.

"Now is the time I leave before you push me under the bed too"

She left a few minutes after and I was left alone to decide which frog went best for a very annoyed Christina. I had to close my eyes to pick, seeing they were all very similar. I was ready just in time to have the last meal of the day. I wouldn't say I was starving but I did like to try new things and if he's a French chef, he must have some recipes up his sleeve. I heard they have the best delicacies and was from my mother so I couldn't call it

I took myself downstairs and sat on the first chair in the six chaired dining. It was the same position dad sat in whenever we decided to take dinner to the next level by not eating by the counter. I was the only one by the table, a little too lonely for me. I couldn't walk back upstairs to get my phone, just the thought of it alone made me tired already. All this time, I thought I was getting late just to get downstairs and see the food wasn't even on the table yet.

"Apologies for the delay Ma'am" I heard him from behind. I was glad I didn't have to wait long minutes alone before he came. Placing the plate before me, a chuckle escaped my lips before I even realised it. It was the smallest fanciest type of food I'd ever seen in my life. I wouldn't spend three minutes before devouring the whole thing and the presentation, very good but to me, unnecessary. I guess mom really forgot to tell him the type of food I eat.

"Is there a problem?" He looked concerned when he asked and I didn't want him to feel all his effort on it was a complete waste of time. Not that I didn't appreciate it. I mean, for a person to do this in just a few minutes is quite impressive but I just wasn't the type to get impressed by things like that.

"Not really, it's just that the food is a little too small"

"Would you like me to get you more?"

"No, it's not like I'm in the mood to eat anything savoury now. I'll jist settle for snacks later"

"I can get them for you if you like. We have the best here in France"

"You don't have to. In fact, you can take a seat. It's not like I have anyone else to talk to here"

"Everything I do here is limited to the kitchen only so I'd rather not stay but thank you for considering me a good company"

"I don't know you yet so I can't completely say you're good company. Besides, I'll have to know more about the people I live with, wouldn't i?"

"You should, thank you"

There was something about the guy that just wasn't right. I didn't hate him or anything and I certainly didn't have anything against him. I don't know if it comes from the fact he acts more like robot than man or that he looked like those kids in school that always showed up squeaky clean. Either way, he would be staying with me for the whole month and if I ended up getting zero friends, he could be the only person I'd ever talk to.

"So Lucas, how was your day today?"

"Normal, nothing more than dealing with kitchen affairs"

"So you've been here throughout? Even when there was nobody in the house?"

"No, I only came when I got the message you'd be here today. I usually get informed if anyone would be using this place so I get ready beforehand."

"So every other day you just do nothing?"

"I stay in the restaurant back at home. It's a family business and I have my sister running it whenever I'm absent"

"Wow, your life does sound fun"

I didn't get to do stuff like that when I was younger and one way or the other, it led to the way I am today. It wasn't supposed to be like that, it's just the type of family I was born in. There were a lot of people that knew who I was and because of that, I was not permitted to go around like other kids. Things like a walk in the part, going to parties, working in a cafe and other normal things were prohibited. My parents tried their best, they really did, but nothing is like being a normal high school kid.

Every once in a while it made me wonder how the twins would be when they finally came into the world. It was obvious they would have the exact same childhood as I did, if not worse, and I wasn't quite sure if they would be able to handle it the way I did. I didn't want them getting boxed up in isolation which could lead to a lot of things as I wouldn't be there to help them all the time, of course.

"I would say the same about your life. There's no fun in making food and doing the dishes"

"You say that cause you've done it all your life."

"If you really want to make your own meals then be my guest, there's a whole kitchen"

He didn't understand what I meant and it's not like I ever expected him to. It was more than just making meals and although his offer sounds inviting, I might not be able to keep up with it. "I'll pass"