matanoia

mouthwash

Hermione and Ginny were very concerned when i had shuffled back up to our dorm hardly being able to walk.

"y/n what's wrong?" Hermione had asked worry etched in her face.

"are you okay?" Ginny was looking over at me while she sat cross legged on Hermione's bed.

"i just went for a long run, my legs aren't very used to it," i shrugged laying down on my bed.

not that it's a good thing but i was a pretty good liar.

luckily for me it was winter so i could wear a hoodie to hide the few dark hickeys on my neck.

Draco didn't like that.

he had said something along the lines of 'it's proof that your taken and no one can have you'.

i thought it was weirdly sweet.

Draco and i had come to an agreement that we would keep our little thing a secret.

as much as it hurt to see the girls try to get with him and him actually let them.

but i kept reminding myself that we weren't together.

he could do whatever he wants.

but i didn't think it was fair that i couldn't even talk to my guy friends. Cedric and Neville had been very confused when i stopped hanging out with them.

i hated to admit it but Draco's opinion mattered more than it should to me. he would look at me with disappointment when i would talk to them.

it hurt.

however the weeks went on. classes remained the same. Draco only would talk to me when we were alone but all we ever did was sexual things.

don't get me wrong it was amazing. but i had an aching feeling for him to just notice me for something else than my body.

we never strayed from the normal conversation. never talk about family, hobbies, the past or the future.

that only left talk about upcoming tests and of course again sexual things.

my friends stopped hanging around me as much saying i had changed.

"your not the same anymore," Hermione confessed as we sat in the library. my confusion was obviously shown on my face.

"we love you y/n but your so distant," ginny butted in.

"so what does this mean?" i asked. they looked at each other then back to me.

"maybe we should just give you a little more distance to work through whatever your going through" Hermione answered.

"we have tried to help you but you won't tell us anything," Ginny added.

they left me in the library as i tried to hold my tears back.

i hadn't changed.

had i?

i tried talking to Draco but he brushed me away.

"who needs those petty friends anyway? you have me that's all you need."

i had given him a tight smile as he slipped away and back into the halls.

the mid year holidays were just around the corner and everyone was almost screaming in excitement. (let's pretend there is lol)

i, however, was not.

i had no family to go home too and i had once gone back with the Weasleys but it felt wrong to ask them.

Draco's was obviously not on the table.

"Draco?" he was sitting at the tree eating a green apple of course.

"y/n," i sat down next to him hugging my legs.

"what's up?" he asked blankly. sighing i rested my head on his shoulder.

"i miss my friends," i swallowed the lump in my throat as i felt him look down at me.

"those aren't friends y/n. if they were your friends they wouldn't have left you." my stomach sunk as i held back tears.

"right.." i knew i couldn't argue with him. i didn't have the strength.

"Draco?" a voice called. Draco quickly stood up causing me to slightly fall. Pansy stood in front of us in disbelief.

"what are you doing with her?" i winced at her tone. Draco looked between me and her before speaking.

"she came up to me i told her to leave me alone." my mouth dropped open.

"good because for a second there i was worried she was trying to steal my boyfriend." the word was like a knife to my chest and i felt all the anger that i had built up threatening to come out.

i stood up and looked at Draco.

"boyfriend?" i asked. he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down.

"yes, boyfriend, he made it official last night," she wrapped her arm around his smiling at him.

i laughed nodding my head.

"right, of course! you two are perfect for each other!" they both looked at me in shock.

"i know we are," Pansy replied glaring at me.

"i mean the both of you can't seem to get your heads out of your own asses enough to see how pathetic you are,"

"excuse me?" Pansy practically shrieked.

"also Draco, you might want to try mouthwash, i can't breath when you kiss me," i smile at both of them and turn around.

"you know draco told me that your kind of fat." Pansy yelled out at me.

tears brimmed to my eyes as i turned back around.

"you said that?" i chocked out as i looked at him.

"don't you remember last night when we were you know, and i asked you what you thought about y/n?" she smirked at me.

"Draco, did you or did you not say that about me?" i clenched my fists.

"yes. i did say that but-" i walked up to him and punched him right in the nose.

"draco!" Pansy screamed.

"oh and Pansy." she turned to me.

i slapped her so hard my hand was burning.

i wiped my tears and looked down at Draco wiping his bloody nose.

"don't ever even look at me," and then i ran.

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not a spicy chapter and it's kind of shit sorry! <3