Not a Coincidence | Juan GDL

His: Part 1

Juan Gerardo Gómez de Liaño

"You're not going to woo her?"

I drank the remaining wine on my glass before turning my gaze at my brother.

"You know that's not how I do things, Javi."

I wasn't the type to chase after a person. Hindi ko gawain iyon. I dislike that kind of attitude. What's the point of going after someone who clearly doesn't want you back anymore?

"It's not about how you do things or how you don't. It's about how much you want her to stay."

That's it. I'm getting drunk tonight.

"Doesn't matter anymore."

Do I really find myself crumbling at this expense?

She doesn't want it anymore. Just when things get tougher, she backs down and turns her back. The worst thing? She lied. She lied about everything. She lied about being transparent, she lied about taking a grip, she just hid things and just waited for the right time and dropped everything right into my face!

She fucking lied...butI fucking miss her.

Sabi ko hindi ko ugali ang mag-habol...pero bakit parang gustong-gusto ko siyang habulin?

It's been a week or two since Belle decided on her own to cut things off between us two and I was left to concur. Didn't I tell her I'd do everything she tells me?

I was a slave of love to her. Something I didn't expect myself to be. I've always thought I could fight my principles when she starts nagging about breaking up...but I guess I was wrong.

One look into her beautiful and pleading eyes...talong-talo ako.

Hell started when she started spitting out words about she getting tired from my half-baked attention and time. It's always been work before her, she says. But it's always been her for me. Never did I choose work over her. But I admit, I did compromise a bit.

Aren't we all compromising? For the ones we love and things we don't wanna lose?

"Dang, man," Javi patted my shoulder. "You're fucking lost..."

Alam ko.

"She could have been that woman, you know what I mean?"

Alam ko rin.

I rested my back on our couch. We've been drinking the night away in our rooftop. Mom and Dad didn't seem to know about my breakup with her. I have no plans of telling them anyway. It broke my heart in away I couldn't understand and I knew it would do the same for them. Napamahal na sila kay Belle. They have treated her as their daughter...and as my future. 

Bumalik ako sa kwarto pagkatapos namin matapos sa inuman ni Javi. With heavy strides, I slowly opened my room's door, anticipating what I am about to see.

I see her. The very same sketch of her face I have loved to stare at and caress. I gazed intently at it and sat on the edge of my bed.

Where did I go wrong, baby? Tell me, please. Because fuck the world and all, I've had it dangerously bad for you.

Hinilamos ko ang mukha ko bago tuluyang bumagsak ang luhang matagal nang gustong kumawala.

This is my first breakup. First heartbreak. Damn it.

I've encountered a lot of girls from before. Even way back high school. They all ranged from cute to hot. Entertained them. Quite decided for flings, but never took them to the next level officially. She's my first independent decision. She's the first ever girl that has me wrapped around her dainty fingers.