We Don't Sleep

2~Jared~

TW!!: SELF HARM

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I lay on my bed, eyes closed, feeling nothing but regret and pain from my abdomen. I was an idiot. The hell would you do that Kleinman? You're life doesn't suck! You don't need to feel like this at all! I had cut myself again.

The first time was in the shower. I don't know what the fuck possesed me to do it, but I pushed the curtain out of the way and grabbed my razor. One. Two. Three. slice It stung like hell, especially with the hot running water and soap suds dripping down onto my arm. That was when I realized people could see it. Luckily it was winter, so nobody thought anything when Jared Kleinman, Button Up Shirt Extrordinaire, wore a hoodie to school.

The second time was after the kiss. I had kissed my best friend on impulse at a party. Rich. I thought about him a lot. Less than I used to, but still a decent amount of time. It was February, a Valentine's party at our buddy Jake Dillinger's place. His parents were like criminals or something so the house was always empty.

I had been making out with some israeli girl when Chloe Valentine (who had been receiving gifts all day because of her last name) suggested a game of truth or dare.

At first all went well, stupid dares like lick the floor, take your shirt off, order a complicated pizza and stupid truths like are you a virgin, who was your childhood celeb crush (Rich had jokingly answered Tom Felton, which I later realized was, in fact, just a joke) and what was the last youtube video you watched.

The first time the bottle landed on me, I picked truth. Is your crush in this room? Being the idiot I am, I told the truth. Y-yes. The next time the bottle landed on me, Rich had spun it. Like a dumbass, I picked dare, assuming he would just give me something really crazy and random. I dare you, he had a mischievous smile, to kiss your crush. Fuck. I remember thinking.

Taking a deep breath, I remembered Michael Mell, who was openly gay and trans, and he didn't get messed with too much. I had seen him at this party earlier. I leaned forward, closing my eyes and kissed Rich. In the millisecond that our lips were together, I tasted beer, and something sweet, probably the cherry lipgloss of some girl he made out with earlier.

Then, as quickly as it happened, he pushed me away, wiping my kiss off of his lips. I saw a look of sadness, no, pity.

Tears threatening to spill, I ran out of that house and never came back. I jumped into the first taxi that stopped and cried the whole way to my apartment.

I made my way to the bathroom, my vision blurry, and pulled up my shirt. I must have cut myself at least a dozen times. I jumped when I heard the front door open. Locking the door, I turned the water on and after ripping my clothes off of me, I jumped in. The cold water made me shiver, and I watched the blood run down the drain, feeling sick.

My parents let me stay home from school the next day, after I threw up that morning at the thought of facing Rich.

I stayed home that whole week. A week after the kiss, my dad informed us that we would be moving to New York. He already worked there, but apparently his company was moving further north. I was so relieved to hear that. I never said goodbye to Rich or anyone for that matter. I moved on quietly, leaving gay Jared behind.

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A/N- Ahhhhhh!!! I fucking loved writing that. I hope you enjoyed it, and since I've been really inspired, expect an update within hours!