what the water gave me - h.s.

the hum that decides

Harry.

I think I fucked up.

Mitch and I were just walking around the Quarter, when he had this fabulous idea to stop by the girls' place and just hang out for a little.

And we had all been hanging out a lot over the weeks, getting close to each other and all, so I didn't think much about it before agreeing.

But what I didn't expect was to end up whisked away into Tobi's room, where she stands a few feet in front of me with a borderline look of fear on her face.

All I did was hum.

...I shouldn't have hummed.

"Look, it's not that big of a deal, Tobi. I promise it's nothing, I think you're just overthinking this," I try to convince her, hoping she'll forget about it.

However, I think this only spurs her on more.

And maybe gaslighting the girl who fascinates me so much isn't the best decision I've made today.

...And I made the decision to hum.

"No, this is so big," She says exasperatedly speaking with her hands, "I know you're probably confused, but this isn't just some coincidence, Harry."

She chews on her nail bed and I worry that she might rip her skin off with how distressed she seems.

I didn't think my minor slip up would lead to this secret chat as she attempts to tell me something she wants to say, but I can tell she's holding back. Maybe in fear that I'd run.

But, I think she might kick me out once I let her in on how her voice sings me to sleep every night.

Tucking fallen strands of her dirty blonde waves behind her ear, she moves to sit in her bed, patting the spot next to her indicating me to join.

I take a deep breath and sit in the empty space on her earth-toned comforter, silently praying that she won't think I'm utterly insane.

But now is the time, before she starts convincing me of her own conspiracies, to tell her of the real reason I know of her hum.

"Look," I sigh, cutting her off of what she was going to say causing her to close her mouth. "I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to be weirded out or anything."

She just stares, nodding gently in a silent way to tell me to continue.

"I- I hear this voice. In my head. I've heard it for years. This female voice singing, only ever singing. And for the longest time I didn't think much of it, until recently. When the four of us met at the River, you had gone up to sing karaoke... and well, I recognized your voice. At first, I just thought the voice in my head was at it again, but the words synced to the ones falling from your lips. It's you. This voice I hear in my head...is you." I say all in one breathe it feels like.

"And before you think I'm crazy, I know how ridiculous this sounds and this isn't some cheesy confusing pick up line or anythin'. It's true." I quickly rush out before she starts yelling at me and calling me a creep.

But that doesn't happen.

I look up to her from the gaze I held on my shoes. Her brown eyes glimmer in the light of the sunset that shines through her balcony window.

"You probably think I'm crazy, huh?" I say quietly.

"You're not crazy," She whispers. Her eyes burning into mine with an emotion I can't quite place.