Chapter 13

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Liam stood naked in front of the gigantic bathroom mirror, grimacing slightly at his own appearance. His skin was paler than ever and he'd lost some of that golden glow he'd collected after the wedding. He'd also lost some weight since the... since the loss; not enough to cause alarm, but enough that he himself noticed.

And Zayn noticed too, of course. The hazel eyes took in his appearance and Liam could almost hear his husband's heart break; every single day.

Two weeks had passed and Liam was healing – in every sense of the word. The crushing, nearly crippling grief that he'd felt in the immediate aftermath of the incident, had slowly faded to a dull ache inside him, stabbing his insides every now and then when he wasn't expecting, but for most part, just throbbing quietly and letting him function normally.

He could see it was just as bad, if not worse, for Zayn. The Alpha hadn't left Liam's side since it happened, and he seemed to be focusing his very life-energy on helping Liam, healing Liam. He stayed beside the Omega whenever the grief intensified, holding him without a word, his arms so tight around him that Liam could actually feel himself being put back together, just from that heated, nearly unbearably loving touch.

Most days though, Liam got out of bed and smiled, and nowadays he was faking it less and less, his smile genuine enough just at the sight of Zayn. The Alpha had lost weight too, perhaps far more than Liam himself had, and his face seemed gaunt, weary. But when he saw Liam smile, his whole body seemed to emit a relieved happiness so intense, that Liam couldn't help but go hold him for a few minutes.

On days like these, Zayn and him took off in Zayn's enormous car, the SUV's powerful engine nearly soundless as the tires skimmed noiselessly over the smooth roads Zayn drove them down with Liam's head on his shoulder and their fingers entwined. The Alpha had an incredible knowledge of a vast array of hidden roads and routes that were barely known, and most of them led down to breathtakingly beautiful locations. One time it had been a lake, still and unmoving, the colour such an intense blue that Liam's eyes hurt from it. They spread a blanket and lay there together, Zayn's mouth pressed to Liam's forehead as they simply breathed in the country air and each other, revelling in the peace.

Another time it had been a roaring waterfall, filling a vast stone bowl, the water misting around them almost like magic, clinging to their skin and clothes. Liam had actually laughed that day, and after days of looking like a man who'd been tortured, Zayn had finally lit up, just from the sight of Liam laughing. They'd skinny dipped, the water cold and making Liam gasp, both of them chuckling lightly as they'd ducked under the massive jets of water pouring down. When they'd got out, Zayn had produced towels from the car and had dried Liam with intense care, as if he were a child, and once they'd dressed, he'd pulled out a blanket and wrapped the Omega up in it. They'd sipped on cups of cocoa Zayn had poured out of a thermos, and Liam had finally decided that everything was going to be okay.

He believed that Zayn and he really could go back to how they'd been, and told the Alpha so. Zayn had simply smiled, his eyes brimming and had tucked his face into Liam's hair, pulling him closer against himself, his touch warm and worshipful.

They hadn't made love since it had happened though, and Liam wasn't fool enough to believe that it was because Zayn wasn't attracted to him any longer. Nearly every morning he'd feel Zayn's erection pressing into his back through their clothes, proof enough that the Alpha wanted him just like he always had, but before Liam could do so much as stir and turn around to initiate sex, Zayn would be slipping out of bed. He himself craved Zayn's touch just as much as he usually did, but the heat that had peaked and peaked over time between them, seemed to have faded to a gentle simmer.

Liam realised it was nothing but pure guilt that kept his Alpha away from him, and knew that he had to do something about it soon. He loved Zayn more than he ever had and despite them both acknowledging their mutual love for one another, they also had a fundamental need for sex and two weeks without it was by itself stretching it out too long.

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