Spideychelle one-shots

Dear Journal (Pt. 11)

MJ

The hospital lights were harsh and bright, and MJ clutched her coat tighter to herself and shivered. 

They had been waiting for half an hour, her and Happy and a distraught looking Mr. Stark, who looked a little singed. Peter had been moved to the ICU and was in not-very-stable condition, facts MJ had learned from the overly careful words of the doctor and the worried whispers of the nurses who hadn't noticed her lurking in the halls. 

MJ's blood beat loud in her ears, her heart working overtime. She was going to see Peter.

She was going to see Peter.

Somehow the knowing made her miss him even worse, all of the time she'd thought he was dead, the time she didn't know what was happening all coming together to make her faint and heartsick and not a little bit confused.

She loved him, she knew this now. Loved him with everything she had. Loved every bit of him as well - the hero, the flirt, the shy boy who didn't know what to say. The person who had saved her, and the boy who nobody noticed. 

She loved him.

And for a while, she hadn't thought she would ever be able to tell him that. She'd thought that she'd lost it - lost him. It was stupid to be crying, now that she was so close to having him back, but there it was.

The tears. Her mind wouldn't shut off. It kept going over Happy's worried face, the doctor when he'd told them Peter was in the ICU, the nurses who whispered so worriedly about "that poor boy..." and glanced at her pityingly. 

He was going to be fine, MJ kept telling herself. He was going to be fine, he was going to be fine, he was going to be fine. 

If only she could make it true. If only she could go back in time to before this whole mess started, do it all again just a little bit differently. Go to the police, or her parents. Keep Peter with her and never let him out of her sight. 

(Why hadn't she hugged him more when she'd had the chance?)

"Hey, you good?" 

MJ flinched, and then wished she hadn't; it only made Happy looked even more worried.

"Yeah." 

"No, you're not."

"No," MJ admitted. "I hate waiting." 

Happy nodded, and clapped her on the shoulder. "I know." 

MJ swallowed. "How's Mr. Stark?" 

"As good as can be expected," Happy said, but his eyes looked worried and sad. 

"He really loves him," MJ said, and maybe there was something a little off in her tone, something a little more than she wanted to reveal, because Happy gave her a long, hard look.

"Mr. Stark loves that kid more than life."

"So he gave him a super-suit and taught him to fight crime? He put him in danger?" MJ hated the catch in her voice. 

"Peter is stronger than he looks. You know that."

MJ subsided. "I know," she said. "I just... hate this, you know? Him being in danger. All the time."

Happy gave her an appraising look. "You should talk to Ms. Potts."

MJ blushed. "I don't -"

"I just mean... you and her are in similar situations."

"Why isn't she here?" MJ said. "Shouldn't she be? I mean..."

"This is hard," Happy said. "For all of them. But think about it: everybody knows that Ironman and Spiderman work together. What reason would she have for being here?"