Into Her Embrace

Chapter 6

TOBIAS

I pack my things numbly, not even knowing where I am. Everything from the past few hours has been a bit of a blur. I remember threatening David, but not what happened after. The only thing I can remember clearly is Tris, lying on the table. Tris, telling me to be brave. Tris, looking weak and vulnerable for the first time that I can remember. Just Tris.

Christina comes back a few hours later, and grabs her things. She tugs on my arm, and pulls me towards the door. All I can do is just put one foot in front of the other, head down. Everything about this place seems cold and harsh to me now. Cara meets us in the atrium, and we walk outside together.

The cold air hits me like a wall. I stumble for a moment before regaining my footing.

"Four, are you ok?" Christina asks worriedly. She must think I'm losing my mind.

"Yes—" I say, the word garbled. She doesn't look convinced, and I don't blame her.

Amar is waiting in a car at the base of the steps to take us back to Chicago. Back to the only home I've ever truly known.

Christina and I walk down the the steps without hesitation, but Cara lingers by the front entrance. I turn back towards her, with a curious expression on my face.

"Are you coming?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"No. I'm staying here with Matthew, to help him sort out this mess," she blushes furiously, a very unCara-like expression on her face, before continuing, "I will be able to do more good here anyway."

"Ok," I say nodding in understanding, "that makes sense. Good luck Cara."

With this, I turn and jog to the car, anxious once again to leave this miserable place behind. Secrets and deception were the only thing that this institution held for anyone.

Back in Chicago

Amar stops the car by the Dauntless compound, allowing Christina and I to get out. He says goodbye to us before turning around to go back to the Bureau, with the explanation that he should also help Cara and Matthew. There shouldn't be any more issues with the serum now that Tris is gone, but David is still a threat to the little peace we were able to create, the little peace that many of us died for.

We walk along the paths inside the compound to the apartment that I used to live in with Tris. As I open the door, memories flood over me. I can feel them poking and prodding at the thin cover of composure that I have managed to put up. If they continue, the walls will break completely. I clear my throat.

"We should finish making preparations to honor her. I only want people there that knew her and cared about her. It's what she deserves."

Christina nods in agreement before walking in front of me to enter the apartment. She sets her belongings down by the door and turns to wait for me to enter. Once I am sure I can, I walk in.

We decided to cremate her and spread her ashes in 4 different places. In the chasm, for her faction of choice. By her Abnegation home, for her faction of origin. Along the zipline, for her friends and the whole city that collectively was her home. Finally, by the Ferris wheel, for the one that left and the one that was left behind. It just seemed right for her, and I hope that was what she would have wanted.

Christina and I had also discussed briefly that we shouldn't waste time. Her argument made sense-the sooner she is honored, the easier it may be to let her go. It also made sense because it was the Dauntless way. We always acknowledge the death as soon as it happens. While Tris was Divergent, she chose Dauntless. The least we can do is respect that. After we slowly unpacked, we made our way to the chasm.

Even though Dauntless funerals are generally more of a celebration, it turns out to be a solemn affair. Christina and I are the only ones there as we scatter her ashes in the chasm. I can almost feel her spirit pulling away, leaving me for good. I don't say anything and neither does Christina. We are both left alone with our thoughts. After standing silently and watching the ash be consumed by the monstrous river for several long minutes, she put her hand on my arm and began to lead me away. It was strange, that a part of me hadn't accepted Tris was gone yet. There was still a small, irrational part of me that was waiting for her to come back.

We walked to the dining hall, and entered the large room where the other Dauntless were rowdy as usual, blissfully unaware of the sorrowful event that had just taken place. As we had discussed earlier, we ended up getting some chocolate cake. Despite myself, I smiled. It took me back to the conversation we had many months earlier.

"Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing." She says.

"Well, I would only go if there was cake." I teased, making her laugh.

I got chocolate cake. Not only for her, but for Uriah, whose favorite flavor cake was always chocolate. For her mother, since I remembered her saying something about her mother telling her to try some of the chocolate cake for her. Christina did the same, although it may have been more of a preference then the sentiment I had.

By the time we were finished, it was late afternoon. We had decided that we would go together to the zipline, and then I would go alone to both Tris' Abnegation home and the Ferris wheel.

Once we reach the Hancock building and get in the elevator, I'm feeling slightly anxious. As the elevator rises, my anxiety increases. I calm myself with the thought of Tris. She would want me to do it at least once. Christina looks at me worriedly.

"Are you ok?" She asks, concern clear in her tone.

I force myself to nod. Knowing she can likely see right through my façade, I turn away, and continue to watch us rise into the air. Once we hit the 100th floor, the doors slide open. Wind whips around us both.

Christina helps me get situated in the sling. I decide to go down face-first, like I think she might have done when she went on it before me. She places the urn behind me, and opens it so the ashes scatter behind me as I fall.

She asks me if I'm ready. I give a thumbs-up, not trusting my voice. She pushes me hard, and I begin the terrifying descent downwards.

I force my eyes open as I hurtled past buildings, despite them watering heavily. I can no longer tell if it's because of the wind or because of tears. Most likely both. I feel my chest getting tight but I am unable to open my mouth to scream. My arms are crossed against my chest, trying to hold myself together.

As I near the end, I can feel her with me. She takes my hands gently, spreading them so my arms look like wings. She soars along next to me, and for the first time I can finally see why people enjoy this.

A/N

Hi everyone!
I know I haven't updated in forever, I really didn't know how to approach this chapter for months, so my apologies if it's awful. Let me know if you find any mistakes. Please leave a comment, whether it's criticism, or just how your day is going- I'd love to read it regardless. Thank you all so much for reading.
As always, please stay safe. If you haven't today, try drinking some water or getting something to eat, even if it's small. Have a great day!
~Chase