Afterglow

shiver

A week flew by without incident, though my mother almost had a 'heart attack' when I dared not to return home for the weekend. I stayed in Vera and Blythe's room, alone, catching up on schoolwork in between panic attacks that left tears tracking down my mascara stained cheeks and a hole in my chest that I tried to fill with binged Netflix shows and completing all of my work weeks in advance.

It was on Sunday night, however, that I dared venture out into the cool wildness of the sprawling Bayfield Academy estate, a certain favorite pond calling to me for a reason I couldn't quite discern but didn't question.

The wind chill was sure to be ten degrees, my uncovered face almost freezing upon the blast of air that hit me as I opened the outside door and forced myself to think of something more painful that the frigid night in order to distract me from my current situation.

Ian was still in the same condition, no new news from Alyssa or Ian's mother, though I called every day, at eight every morning on the dot. His mother, Marlene, had come to expect my calls and we shared in our favorite memories we had with Ian and it was bittersweet, getting to know this woman through grief over her only son who was hanging onto life by a thread.

Sniffing the icy tears from my eyes, my phone buzzed incessantly in my pocket and this time I didn't reach for it, refusing to catch hypothermia from taking off a glove to maneuver the touch screen. Nope, my fingers were warm and toasty wrapped in their fluffy cotton cocoons thank you very much.

A shiver ran through my spine as I reached my spot, that had somehow become Lachlan's spot as well, though he was no where in sight.

No new snowfall since the blizzard, the cracked open glassy surface had stayed a liquid, as I realized someone must have had to come out every morning or night to make sure the pond stayed that way.

Only when I reached the water did I take my hands out of their gloved home, pinching off pieces of the bread I'd smuggled from the lunchroom for this very occasion.

The baby fish swam and bobbed to the surface just as they did the first time Lachlan broke the ice, the glow of the water reflecting from the overhead lamps and moon hung high in the sky.

Isolated at the academy as the students trickled in from their weekend, peace settled down deep in my bones as I stretched out across the bench and rested my head against the worn oak slats behind me.

I merely sat in silence, allowing the solitude to swallow me whole like a whale in the deep dark ocean, its jaw unhooked and all living things in the nearby vicinity sucked into its powerful yawning abyss.

My biological father had tried constantly and incessantly to contact me, but each new account was blocked and the comments and likes deleted from my posts. I wished I could vanish him from my mind like I could do with his internet escapades.

I wished I could have banished him from my nightmares, too, as those hadn't subsided once, not even with Vera and Blythe in the same room with me.

Lachlan and Blythe's parents couldn't convince the headmaster to kick a student out of their room and make them switch to live in Jenna's room just to accommodate me. They said we'd have to work out our own problems, but I was more than fine with roughing it on the floor of Vera's dorm until I figured out something more permanent.

Sloane, Holden, Jenna and Lachlan had all sat at a different table for our meals the rest of the week, and the only time I'd gotten alone with Lachlan was once when he'd found me hiding out in an alcove in the hallway.

I could still remember his arms wrapped around my waist as he checked in, asking how I was. I told him I was fine, and that if he really wanted to know, he could have just texted me.