The Experience of Being Alive

Chapter Eight

If anything, Binny read The Madrona Heroes, the book of which she was the star, even faster than she had read Michel's book, Paris in the Twentieth Century. The man had left some time ago, and apparently Marvin, the Paranoid Android had decided to slink off somewhere as well.

Maybe it was narcissistic, but there was something undeniably exciting in getting to read a full length novel all about oneself. Binny would cheer when she did something amazing, and cringe when she knew she was making a mistake. But nowhere could she really argue with what had happened. The book was so clearly... her.

But reading not just about yourself, but about a future that you hadn't yet experienced was positively surreal. Not that Binny really knew what it meant to describe the events in the book as her future. Wasn't her real future here in the Stacks? It was all very confusing. Binny didn't imagine there was a book detailing what would happen to her in the Stacks. That might clear things up a bit.

"It's hard to stop isn't it."

Binny looked up from her spot on the couch. She hadn't yet stretched her legs from the curled up position in which she'd been reading. It was Michel. He was smiling gently at her.

"Yeah. It is," Binny said, smiling back at Michel.

"I keep re-reading mine," Michel said.

"Really? But yours... well... it ends so sadly."

"Yeah. That's what I like about it."

"You like being sad?" Binny asked.

"At least when I'm reading the book I'm feeling something," Michel answered.

"But your book of poetry, Hopes, was rejected by every Paris publisher, and you never even reunited with Lucy!"

"Not all books end happily."

Binny and Michel sat for a moment in silence. Contemplating.

"Michel. Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"And I don't mean to be insulting."

"Don't worry Binny. Even being insulted would be more interesting than this existence." Michel's smile reminded Binny of her older brother Zach in those scant moments when he was being big brotherly towards her.

"Do you ever worry that people won't like your book and will stop reading it?"

"I wish they would."

"Wait, what? You wish people would stop reading your book?"

"Binny, my author, he is very well known. He wrote some incredibly popular books. Perhaps you've heard of them: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea? Around the World in Eighty Days? Journey to the Center of the Earth? His books have as they say, stood the test of time."

"Yeah. I've heard of them." Binny looked deflated.

"What's wrong? Does my author's success make you sad?"

"Oh. No. I'm sorry." Binny caught herself. "I didn't mean to offend you. I'm happy for you of course."

"Binny, what is worrying you?"

"It doesn't matter. It's not something you would understand."

Michel lowered his head, and an uncharacteristic grin spread across his face. "Try me."

Binny looked in his eyes for a moment and made a decision. "You, and that robot, wish people would stop reading your books, but you're gonna be here forever because you have popular books or popular authors or whatever. From what I can tell, my author's books won't stand the test of time. I'm afraid that nobody will like them."