Pretty Boy (bokuaka)

12) Distance

(Votes and comments are always appreciated)

I found a couple of granola bars in the pantry and set them on the counter before opening the fridge for some bottles of Gatorade. After getting our snacks and shutting the fridge, I headed back towards my room but was stopped by my father's voice.

"Hey, Keiji," he called above the sound of the radio that was playing music.

"Yeah?" I turned around at the end of the hall. "What is it?"

"Come over here," he said, waving his hand. I complied. "Take a seat for a minute."

I sigh and set our snacks on the automan, sitting on the couch adjacent to theirs. "What's this about?"

Mom leans forward and turns the volume of the music down. "We just want to talk for a minute," she says. "Are you sure it's a good idea to have Bokuto around right now? I mean, you just had your surgery not even a week ago."

I furrow my brows and stare at her, "what, do you just want me to stop being friends with him? Because that's not going to happen."

My fathers voice drops quietly, making sure Bokuto wouldn't hear if he's listening. "You're still in love with him though," he says and I nod, it's obvious, I won't hide it. "We just don't want the hanahaki to relapse, especially not this soon."

"Well it won't, we've been close for years and I know how to control my emotions," I say but I'm not sure if it's actually true. Not anymore.

"Even so," mom says, "it's true that you still love him. He could trigger it at any moment, you know that."

"Except that's not true," I try to argue even if logically I know they're right.  "Small things won't set it off, I know how to control it."

"We don't doubt that you do," dad said, "we're just worried is all. Even if you know how to control it, doesnt make it any less dangerous to you. Your esophagus is still severely damaged because of the strain that's been put on it over the years."

"Yeah. I know."

"Keiji, you know this is serious, why are you being so apathetic right now?" Mom whined, running a hand through her hair stressfully.

I shrug, "there's nothing you can say to make me stay away from Bokuto."

Dad sighed, "I suppose if you have your mind made up, there's nothing we can do. Even so, Keiji, we need you to try to keep your distance for a little while. At least until your lungs are healed."

I nod, understanding. "I'll try. A bit. Maybe."

Mom groans, "as long as you try."

"I will."

"Alright," dad says, "go on back to your room then."

I take our snack off of the small table and get up, heading down the hallway to my bedroom. When I open the door, I find Bokuto laying on my bed with his phone over his head. "Hey, Bokuto," he startles and drops the device on his face. I smile in amusement.

"Ow," he sits up with a groan, "you scared me, dude."

"Here," I passed the granola and gatorade to him.

He twists open the lid and puts the edge of it to his lips, I soon did the same before unwrapping my granola bar and biting into it.

The silence slowly became awkward as neither of us knew what to say. I quietly wonder if he was listening in on my conversation with my parents. Or what if Kuroo said something to him? He wouldn't, would he? Bokuto wouldn't have been asking so many questions earlier if he knew. Or maybe he was trying to get me to confess.

"Akaashi."

I turned my head swiftly at the sound of his voice. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Your leg is bouncing. What're you thinking about that's got you so anxious?" He grins slightly with a tilt of his head. He's cute when he's curious, but it does get somewhat annoying at times.

I bite at my lower lip as I stare at him and his smile fades when I don't answer right away.

My thoughts are taking over and I feel like I can't move my own body. My leg is bouncing faster without my control and my hands are shaking slightly. My heartbeat picks up and my breaths are heavy.

Is this Hanahaki? So soon? My surgery really was only a week ago.

"Bokuto-" my voice cracks in my throat and I see worry wash over his features as tears come to my eyes.

Shit. Why do I feel like I'm about to cry? This is so stupid. I'm stupid. Why did I have to get this stupid disease?

"Why don't you care about me?"

The moment the words are out of my mouth, a tear drips from my eye and I swipe it away, jumping to my feet. I take his hands and pull him to his feet too. "Get out," I say quickly.

"Wait- Akaashi," he says as I start to push him towards the door.

"Forget I said that, just- it's fine, really. I just need you to go. Okay? I'll see you Monday," I open the door for him to go, holding my hand on his shoulder to push him out.

Quickly, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his broad chest. "Akaashi-"

I push myself away as strongly as I can and cut him off. "Don't say anything," I stare widely into his eyes. "Just get out."

He takes a deep breath and sighs, "okay." He takes a couple steps down the hall and I hear him saying goodbye to my parents before the front door opens and shuts.

I close my bedroom door and slide down it to the floor, gripping my hands in my hair. I'm so fucking stupid.