Pretty Boy (bokuaka)

14) Not Stupid

"You act weird anytime it gets brought up," he says. "Did you think it was bad or something? Was it just that awkward?"

"I don't know," I shake my head, frustrated, "I told you before, I was thinking of my disease after that happened, so can you just get off my case?"

"Can you stop thinking about your disease for a minute? Tell me what the hell is wrong with you-"

"I already told you!" I cut him off. "I'm just tired of dealing with it all, this illness is tiring! I'm sick of being in lo-" I stop and turn on my heal, going to rush out of the school.

"Akaashi," he runs after me and catches my wrist, pulling me to a stop. When I turn around, there are tears in my eyes. I can't believe I almost slipped up like that. We simply stare at each other and breathe as my tears fall.

My breaths begin to catch in my throat, threatening flowers to rise up. I shake my head, warning him not to speak. His grip around my arm remains as if he's scared I'll run if he lets go. I probably would.

I bite at my lower lip as my breaths become even more winded. I huff and then cough, covering my mouth, afraid that he'd see a flower petal. The coughing fit ends quickly and I look back up to his golden eyes.

"...Akaashi, what were you about to say?"

I pull my arm away and shake my head, "it's nothing. Please forget it. Please."

"Akaashi, no. I'm your best friend okay, you can tell me what it is."

"That's the problem!" I spat. "You're my friend! You're not-" I turned my back to him and gripped my hands in my hair, stressfully.

He stepped closer and put his hand on my shoulder as he walked in front of me. "Do you not want to be friends with me anymore..?" he turns his head questioningly.

I pull away from his touch, fearing another hanahaki attack. "No, I just- I love being friends with you, it's only that-" my coughing stops me from confessing, which I'm thankful for. The only time I've ever been happy to be coughing.

"Okay, okay, calm down," he says carefully. "You need to calm down so you can stop coughing."

I nod but the coughing doesn't stop. I grab onto his arm, nearly losing balance as my head gets light. I should watch my mouth more, dammit, I think as I continue to choke on a flower petal. When it comes free, I cover my mouth and grab the saliva covered petal before he can see it.

Taking my first filling breath, I sigh and take my hand off of Bokuto's arm.

"Are you okay?" he asks once I've breathed healthily for a minute. I nod to him and he sighs with relief. "Good."

I stand up straight again and inhale deeply. "I'm sorry, Bokuto."

He laughs, "what are you sorry for? I was only confused for a minute, as long as I don't lose you, I'm cool with whatever."

I look back to the floor, "you don't mean that.."

He tilts his head, his brows drawing near. "Of course I do. I love ya, man," he says.

My eyes widen and I look up to him, suddenly realizing he meant it platonically. Of course he did. "Don't say that. ....You'd leave me if you knew the truth."

"Hmph," he pouts, staring at me. "I don't know how I can prove to you that I wouldn't leave you. Not over anything. I'd even quit volleyball if it meant I would get to stay with you."

I tilt my head, "well now, that's just a blatant lie. Volleyball is everything to you, I'm just your friend."

"You're not just my friend, you're my best friend!"

I force myself to not smile, at least I'm his best friend. I cough again, covering my mouth. "Thanks, Bokuto."

"Lets walk home, alright," he said, nodding his head towards the exit.

"Yeah.."

We don't talk on the way to my house and I hold my hands in my pockets. I pause and look up when I notice something floating in front of my face, Bokuto stops too, looking up to the sky.

"It's snowing.." he says quietly, holding his hand out to catch a few snowflakes only for them to melt on his palm. I smile at him and watch as it slowly collects on his hair and on his shoulders. "It hasn't snowed in forever!" he then turns to me and jumps excitedly, shocking me into a frown.

"Yeah," I nod, "it didn't snow last year, did it?" He shakes his head and looks back up to the sky.

We begin walking again as the snow slowly collects on the sidewalk.

"Hey Akaashi," he says after we've been walking for a while, almost at my house. "You know I'm not stupid, right? I might be an idiot sometimes, but I know things."

I tilt my head and look at him curiously, "of course I don't think you're stupid."

"Then," he pauses, "and forgive me if this comes off as rude."

"Just say it," I say and look back foward, acting as though I'm unfased by whatever he's getting at.

He takes my shoulder and pulls me to a stop, forcing me to look into his golden eyes. "Stop treating me like I am, then."