Thorodriel

Chapter 10 - Confrontation

Thorodriel: Chapter 10 - Confrontation

As Aeweneth climbed the stairs to the council chamber, a sense of foreboding crept upon her. She was finally being forced to face her past.

"It's time." She thought to herself, "After so many years, it's time to take this step."

She took a deep breath before stepping out into the daylight. The sky above her seemed endless, a blue sea of eternity reaching up to the heavens. And, not for the first time before confronting her father, the young elf sent up a silent prayer to Celebrían asking for support.

"Ada," she called softly, getting the attention of the elf pacing at the far side of the chamber.

He turned, pausing slightly before nodding at Aeweneth in acknowledgment. It was in this fleeting second that she saw that look - the fleeting glance that broke her heart repeatedly and stopped her from ever fully moving on. After centuries apart, Elrond still saw her mother when he looked at her. A lump formed in Aeweneth's throat as she fought back the painful reminder and took a step towards her father, keen to start healing those old wounds. For a few moments, they simply looked at each other and surveyed the changes of time. In this aerial chamber, away from the troubles of the world, they were able to observe each other fully.

Elrond was the first to speak, "I know I cannot force you to stay. Perhaps, this is the path you have been destined for all along."

Aeweneth could not bring herself to argue with him. Her choice to join the Fellowship felt so right, so natural, that she had also considered the possibility of fate. She followed in silence as her father turned and walked slowly towards the window. From there they could see all of Imladris and its beauty took her breath away. Whilst her dwelling in the trees meant the world to her, providing safety and comfort in a way no other place or person could, Rivendell was her home and she would always be astounded by its natural grandeur.

"I have something for you," Elrond said eventually, almost at a whisper.

Her attention was drawn away from the view when she realised he was clinging to a small, intricately sculpted box. Aeweneth carefully took it from her father's hands and slid the latch open. A breath caught in her throat and she paused for a moment in awe. Sat amongst the pale silk lining lay two blades, polished silver. She carefully lifted them from the wooden container, catching a glimpse of her tearstained reflection in the blade. The handles were delicately engraved with leaves and vines, winding around in an infinite pattern. She ran her fingers over the sharpened edge and watched as its molten effect caused the reflecting light to dance. After some time, she composed herself enough to look her father in the eye.

"Amil?" She questioned, already knowing the answer.

This time she saw no regret reflected in Elrond's wizened gaze, only love and understanding, "She would have wanted you to have them."

"They're beautiful, thank you." Her heart warmed in gratitude and thoughts of her mother clouded her vision.

The pair sat in silence for a few moments, basking in the memories and both hesitating before taking the next step. It was Elrond who eventually broke the rivière, clearing his throat and wiping away any remnants of threatening tears.

"You will need them on your journey. I do not need to tell you how dangerous the path you have chosen will be."

Aeweneth nodded, respectfully, still in awe of the blades in her grasp. She carefully placed them back amongst the silk and closed the lid, noticing for the first time the intricate C inscribed above the clasp.

"How have I never seen these before?" She asked, "Even...before I never once saw her draw a blade."

Elrond looked away from his daughter and she noticed the look of regret had returned.

"Your amil was a peaceful soul, even in the most trying of times."

Aeweneth couldn't stop a small laugh escaping at this, despite the mournful memories. 'Peaceful' was something of an understatement for her mother, who rarely even raised her voice and was naturally softly spoken. Images of a happy childhood amongst siblings and friends danced before the young elf's eyes for a moment before she sobered and refocused on the topic at hand. Aeweneth paused before finally broaching the subject they were both evading.

"Ada...It wasn't your fault. I know you blame yourself but-"

Elrond's sharp glance cut her off, "Do not speak of things you do not know Aeweneth. You were gone for days! I should have known something was wrong. Even the twins came to me with concerns and I foolishly dismissed them." At the memory, pain flashed in his eyes, cutting through his daughter's heart like a blade. "And then, when I heard your screams..."

"No ada," Aeweneth interrupted her father's rant before he could remind her. "Amil had been late before. You weren't to know we hadn't just taken a longer route or stopped for camp. If I could have just learned control like she wanted or paid more attention to the twin's lessons, I could have stopped it. It's my fault, I-"

She was interrupted by him grasping and shaking her shoulders. In his expression, she caught a glimpse of both heartache and fury. Not for the first time, Aeweneth shrank away from her father in fear. It was sometimes easy to forget that beneath his calm and wise demeanour lay a powerful fea, forged in battle and hardened by pain.

"I never want to hear you say those things again!" Elrond shook her once again for emphasis before letting go. "You were a child Aeweneth. I am your father and it was my job to protect you- to protect you both. I failed in my duty and lost her. I almost lost you too!"

Elrond took a step back and shook his head slightly, realising that he had finally broached the real issue. The pain in his eyes caused Aeweneth's tears to stream faster and she tasted the salt on her lips as she tried to reach him again.

"You didn't lose me ada, I was with you the whole time. Through all the loss and pain. I used to walk around this place and see her everywhere I went, just like you!" Elrond pushed off from the wall and started to walk away, so she pressed on."We needed to be there for each other, ada. I needed you!"

The break in her voice caught his attention and he turned back to her, eyes aflame and tears staining his face, "So why did you leave?"

"Because you couldn't even look at me!"

For a moment, a flash of guilt crossed Elrond's face, but he refused to concede. "That doesn't mean I wanted you to go." He said, dwelling on the suffering her absence had caused.

"I was nothing but a constant reminder to you. Every time you looked at me you saw her. You saw what we lost." A sob burst from Aeweneth's throat as she thought back to the dark and claustrophobic life she held at Rivendell after the attack. "How was I supposed to heal when every time I caught your eyes I saw nothing but pain and regret?"

"You could have stayed! Your brothers needed you, your sister needed you! How could you just leave us all behind?"

At this, her temper flared and she felt a surge of energy rise to the surface. Aeweneth turned away in alarm as it crackled under her skin and she fought to keep control of her emotions. Taking a breath she calmed herself slightly and faced her father, aware that the power inside of her was only just held at bay. Her eyes glistened with it.

"I didn't want to leave! I wanted to stay here, in my home, to heal and move on. But I couldn't, ada. Every time you look at me you see her, and in that split second, I'm reminded of it all over again. In this house I was trapped in an endless loop of remembrance, forever replaying those moments in my head. I needed to get away - from you, from her, from everything - to be able to heal. Can't you see that?"

Elrond's gaze softened for a moment, and Aeweneth finally thought they had come to an understanding- that he could empathise with why she left all those centuries ago. But then, that familiar wall was put back in place and his face hardened. Elrond turned away from her, once more taking on the role of Lord as opposed to father.

"We needed you Aeweneth, and you failed us."

Realising their conversation was over, Aeweneth ran from the chamber back to the lobby below, struggling to breathe over the sobs wracking her body. Through her tears, she didn't see the immediate guilt dawning on her father's face.