When the Snow Melts

Her presence

'Ne,ne Ritsuka...' 

'Hm?'

'Promise me,when you see a white rose,you'll think of..'

Beep.

I woke up to my phone's vibration,how long has it been? An hour? I checked the notification and glanced at the time.Two hours. 

"Mhn.." She grumbled beside me,shoving my hair out of the way,it was getting long,I should cut it soon. 

"Ohaiyou Hotaru." I greeted her fragile figure on the bed,it was already dark and I had to finish my university project.She turned her head over to me,why did it come to this? Why are we not allowed to have a normal conversation? She tried to make out her words,but the plastic tube blocked her voice out.

"Yeah,do you want to see the leaves?" I bent over and gave her a huge smile,she weakly smiled back.

'Yes.' That was her answer,the answer I made up for myself,the answer needed.I opened the curtain slowly,hoping the night light wouldn't affect her. There beyond the glass I took notice of the autumn leave that were falling,the leaves that were still hanging on and the leaves that were already on the cold ground. They reminded me of how I used to be. How I used to see life,they were like the leaves. Different shades of her favorite color were now an eyesore to me,but I can't protest on Hotaru.

Because I want to protect her.

'Don't say that you want to die! Li-live on..w-wi-without giving up!'

Why are they coming back now? Why must it be you? This is bad.If I keep thinking I'll make her sad.I felt a small tuck on my back. I carefully turned around to her,her blonde hair was like the sunflower,so bright...and so blinding. But it was losing color, her blue eyes that reminded me of the southern seas...were dried with dead tears.Dead tears,wishes and hope. 

"You want to take a picture?" I slowly sat down on the white bed,the smell of her medical IV surged up my will to run away,but I don't want to part from her.I can't.Her reaction was slow,but she was on point,she wanted to go outside.

"Hotaru..."I gave a wryly chuckle,Hotaru will always be Hotaru.

"Gomen ne Hotaru.The doctor said that you...you're not to go out...it's freezing out there!" I'm sorry for lying.It's not freezing out there,it's your legs...because they won't work anymore. 

She carefully nodded,then she pointed to her phone,it was a rosy case decorated with sparks and in middle was our graduation picture,the last picture we took...while you still shone.I picked it up from the table and gave it to her,she took it and started typing.

Smile Ri-chan! She showed me the screen.

...

"Hai,hai..." Damn it,why must it be you? I wonder what would've happened if we never met.It might have been easier for the both of us if we never met...if we never met then,maybe we could've met in another life...in a whole new situation...

I slowly shut the door,how long does she have? No,how long do I have left with her? I easily got attached to her and now look at me. I feel pathetic. I walked down the familiar corridor,familiar nurses bid me goodnight and I walked out of the same old building. An angry shouted at me.

Maybe it was my punishment for defying the so called presence named "Life". If Kamisama does exist,then I want to go up to him and ask him...

"What is the value of a life?"

Surely,everyone dies. Like those leaves,we'll grow old and wither away,that's the natural way. So why are you taking Hotaru so early?How does life even work...? 

 Before I knew it I was in our rendezvous spot.A hill that overlooks our small town.I took in a deep breath. She's barely turned twenty. She's barely been on campus.She's barely witnessing the change in this view. This view we used to spend our time together...is now changing...

So why? Tears came rolling down my face.Strange...I thought I abandoned this emotion...so why does it hurt so much...that I want to scream so loud,so loud that even Kamisama will wake up and grant my wish.

'It's ok to be sad and weak,humans weren't born strong anyways.We grow stronger from being weak.That's why I want to stay by your side,until you get stronger,I'll be here ne Ri-chan!'

A transfer student,she was just that.Until we met on the rooftop,then she showed me the world,how bright it was...and how "valuable" my life was...

In truth,I wouldn't even care if I died...but I'd be pretty sad if she did. If Kamisama existed can I ask him to exchange my value for hers? If Kamisama existed,then why is he so cruel?

I went back to my room,my roommate as always was playing games. 

"Hmm,I think..you should stop going..."she put her phone down.

"Because it'll only get harder for you,I know it's pretty lame but at one point,you gotta let go." 

Let go...

"I'll think about it." I shortly replied and went to bed.Sadly, the answer is obvious, I don't intend on letting her go...until she lets go...

Hotaru was a small light to the world,she shone insignificantly,but to me,she showed me the world. Can I be a bit more selfish and stay by her side? Until her light dies out...I want to hold her hand...

Hotaru- Firefly
Ritsuka- Summer (Actually there are many meaning to Ritsuka such as Flower or Good law but  here I made her Kanji name into "Summer")
Kamisama-God (In Japanese) 
Ohaiyou- Good Morning
Gomen ne - I'm sorry ok (In a friendly tone) 
Ne ne- Hey Hey

<I'm sorry to inform this but please do not ship them,even I myself had a hard time doing this TvT. But I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. >